Hello friend, I’m trying something different in this article.
This article will form one chapter from my series of posts containing 39 nuggets of Stoic wisdom.
Furthermore, let’s get to the first nugget of wisdom.
It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters – Epictetus
The core principle of Stoicism is that we can’t control external events, but we can control how we react to them.
For example, think of it like this:
A dog tied to a moving cart can choose to be dragged by the cart or run with it.
If the dog gets dragged by the cart, it’ll most likely suffer injuries, and die.
Or it can run with the cart and work with the flow of events until it finally breaks free from the moving cart.
Our lives are a bit like this: We can choose to make the most of what life throws at us or we can give up and let life get on top of us.
At the heart of this quote is responsibility.
We have the ability to respond favourably at every moment, but it’s up to us how we respond.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. – Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning
How I’ve Implemented This Advice In My Life
My life has been pretty hectic over the last several years. I’ve worked full-time since I was 18 (I’m 26 now).
And sometimes, it feels like I have little time to follow my passions, such as reading, writing, and fitness.
But then I remember: Yes, my life is hectic, but if I respond in the most favourable way, I’ll be able to make the most of my life and the small amount of free time I have.
So what did I do?
I made time for fitness, reading, and writing, even if that meant leaving my hobbies until late in the day (it doesn’t matter when I do them; it just matters that I get them done).
I also realised that if I didn’t fulfil my goals, it was not someone else’s fault but my own.
We always have the power to choose our response to what happens in our lives.
Yes, bad things happen to everyone, but despite this, we still have the power to choose our response to any given situation.
And make the most out of what life throws at us.
Another Example Of How I’ve Used This Advice
Last year, I had awful wrist pain for a year, and it turned out I tore some cartilage in my wrist.
I was told by several different medical professionals that my wrist was fine.
So what did I do?
I could have given up and accepted my hard-to-take diagnosis of “ nothing is wrong” (when there was).
But instead, I didn’t stop getting medical advice and opinions until finally I managed to see a specialist wrist surgeon after a year of pain, who finally fixed my wrist via a surgical procedure.
How High Achievers Use This Advice
Top entrepreneurs, authors, and pretty much anyone who achieves great things uses this advice either knowingly or unknowingly.
For example, entrepreneurs are willing to fail many times before they finally establish a profitable and successful business.
Because they know they have the power to start and try different businesses, but they have no control over whether they will succeed.
So they keep doing what they have control over until they eventually succeed.
The overwhelming majority of top writers and authors will publish many books before they become best selling authors ( yes, there are outliers or one-hit wonders, but they are few and far between).
Because they know they have power over how they respond (ie writing) but have no control over how their writing is perceived.
And eventually, if they write enough, something will stick.
Top athletes exert power over the controllables, ie their health, mindset, and training, to be as prepared as possible for professional sport.
Living This Advice Forces Us To Take Responsibility For Our Lives
One of my favourite quotes I try to live by is:
“I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday” – Eleanor Roosevelt
In essence, we are who we are because we are our choices.
And who has control over our choices?
We do.
What Happens If You Don’t Practice This Advice
You become someone who blames the world for their problems.
Nothing is ever your fault.
You might say things like:
“ Well, if I had better parents, I might have grown up more successful. It’s their fault that my life is a mess.” (They might have been poor parents, but pondering this is not helpful; instead, make the most of the hand you’ve been dealt.)
“It’s my ex-spouse’s fault the relationship ended.” (It might well have been, but we need to take ownership of where we can do better to stop us from running into the same problems in the future.)
In essence, not following this advice means giving up true power over your life.
Yes, I know bad things happen to people all the time.
People get sick.
People get into accidents.
Essentially, with some things we can do nothing about.
But we can still choose how to react even when these things happen.
To Have Full Control over Your Life, Follow These 3 Steps At Any Given Moment:
- Accept your circumstances, however dire they may be.
- Do your best to respond in the best way to make the most of what happens.
- Repeat ad infinitum.
The Controllables And The Concerns
No matter what, we always can take positive actions (things we have control over) to improve our lives: ie
- Stay healthy by working out, eating well, and recovering well.
- Reading literature to increase one’s erudition and better prepare oneself for the challenges of life.
- Being the hardest and smartest worker you can be.
- Being a good colleague, family man (or woman ) and a virtuous person.
- Create content whether that be writing or in the form of videos to help others.
- Stay away from unhealthy habits and toxic people.
Furthermore, we also have concerns. And I define concerns in this context as things we have concerns about but have no control over.
These include things like:
- What the weather is like.
- How other people act.
- Politics.
- What happens on reality TV.
- The news—watching the news or reading newspapers is the most redundant habit. To show how pointless this habit is, read a newspaper published a year ago and see how futile the information is. It is better to read quality literature and expose yourself to timeless wisdom.
- What is happening somewhere else in the world that you have no control over.
Click here to join my 5-bullet Friday newsletter. Every Friday, I share five thoughts, insights, quotes, products, recommendations, etc. that have helped me and might also help you.
henrypaget.com 