
Edvard Munch – The Scream (1893)
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I’ve struggled with anxiety and worry for a while, and I’ve not completely conquered them.
But I have got much better at minimising how much anxiety and worry I feel. Here are my top 7 tips.
1. Will This Even Matter in 10 Years?
Recently, I’ve had wrist surgery for the second time in a year, and fingers crossed, hopefully my wrist is fixed for good.
Although I’m currently in a wrist splint, so I won’t know until I start using my wrist properly.
In a worst‑case scenario, suppose my wrist isn’t fixed properly again. I’m confident it will be corrected over time because the first surgery fixed the major issue, and this second surgery has fixed another issue caused by the initial injury.
So I tell myself, with this wrist pain, will it matter in 10 years? And the answer is no. It shouldn’t even matter in a year if everything goes to plan.
Our minds tend to make problems much worse than they are.
Don’t fall into the worry trap.
By putting our worries and anxieties into perspective, we can diminish most of them. So if what you’re worrying about now won’t matter in 10 years, don’t worry about it.
2. Accept What You Can’t Control
In our lives, we have control of some things and little control over others.
For example, I write a lot on Quora, and many people leave positive comments on my answers, but some are downright rude and nasty.
I know that no matter what I do in life, I’ll get haters; it’s the same for you.
Ultimately, we can’t control people’s opinions about us.
But we can live up to our own standards.
And that’s the saner thing to do.
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” – Theodore Roosevelt
3. Worry Lives in the Future — Stay Present
Last year, during my first wrist surgery recovery, I kept projecting myself into the future, worrying, “What if my wrist isn’t fixed? What if something went wrong?”
And this caused a gut-wrenching feeling of worry about what might happen in the future.
The worry was getting out of control, so I started a box breathing routine, which helped me stay present and avoid getting caught up in worrying about the future.
Remember, most worry and anxiety are about all the million things that may happen in the future.
If you can become aware of the present moment by box breathing, or slow, relaxed breathing, all your worries will pretty much vanish.
Going on walks is great for this.
4. Plan for the Worst, Expect the Best
The ancient Stoics would keep in mind the bad that can happen ie a parent’s death, your own illness or mortality.
But they wouldn’t worry about it. They’d merely keep these things in mind so that if they happened, they wouldn’t be struck dumb by them.
It’s good to be aware of what Lady Fortuna can do. But don’t be so affected that these worst-case scenarios cloud your judgment.
In philosophy, there’s a concept called Memento Mori, which means ‘Remember that you must die’ in Latin.
This insight isnt there to make you feel depressed. It’s there to make you realise that life is short and that you need to make the most of life right now.
Remember the phrase Carpe Diem, which means ‘seize the day’ in Latin.
5. Live by Strong Principles
When the ancient Stoics felt worry, anxiety, or went through a challenging time, they would use those moments to practice virtues.
For example, because I’m recovering from wrist surgery right now, Stoics would say that’s a great chance to practice self-control and patience.
I practice self-control by staying calm, as it’s easy to get overwhelmed and upset when injured.
I practice patience because ultimately I’ve had surgery and can’t do anything about it. My wrist surgery is done, and the outcome is beyond my control, so I won’t waste time worrying about it. All I can do is trust the surgeon and be patient.
6. Check the Odds Before You Panic
I think I’ve written about this before, but I used to have terrible health anxiety.
As a kid, I used to get painful recurrent headaches until my teens.
The headaches wouldn’t go away, so I had medical tests, and I was labelled fine by doctors.
I was fine, but due to my health anxiety, I thought I had a brain tumour that was going to kill me.
I remember talking with a doctor when I was a teenager.
The doctor told me that my medical tests were fine and that the chances of me being sick with a brain tumour were minuscule.
This experience taught me to be rational about my worries.
7. Focus Outward, Not Inward
Most of my worries come from overthinking and not being present in the moment.
As a rule of thumb, focusing inwards, getting tangled up in negative thought patterns, and what-if scenarios causes pain.
But focusing outward, i.e. on hobbies, helps me become fully immersed in something else, so I lose track of time and my negative thoughts.
This is one of the reasons I write.
I’ll give you an analogy.
If you have a dog, you’ll know they turn into lunatics when they can’t go for walks. So they run around the house barking.
Yet when you take your dog for a walk and play fetch, the dog is in his element.
We are the same when we engage in hobbies that we enjoy.
Negative thoughts and feelings vanish.
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