Before I started writing online, one of the main things holding me back was the question, “What will people think of me?” This left me paralysed for so long that I didn’t start writing until way later in my life than I should have.
Now that I write consistently, I’ve learnt that some people like my writing, some people don’t, and some people are indifferent to it, a bit like how people are to me in real life.
And even when people don’t like my writing and comment negative things on my posts it really isn’t that bad in fact if you’re not p*issing a few people off with your writing your not doing it properly.
When I annoy people, I know I stand for something that is normally the opposite of what they value.
But these people who comment negative things on my posts don’t realise they’re helping me. Because the maxim “any publicity is good publicity” is true up to a certain extent.
Because at least if you’re getting negative comments on your posts, your writing isn’t boring and getting ignored. And there’s nothing worse than boring writing.
But the fact is, as a writer (and anyone posting content online), you’ll probably have to write a lot of boring stuff to write something good. It’s the natural progression you sign up for as a writer; you don’t become Montaigne overnight.
Anyway, that brings me back to the point of making decisions for you because in reality no one really cares, everyone is all in there little worlds and focused on themselves I mean I am 99% of the time and honestly I can’t remember a time when I was so offended by someone that I tried to stop them doing what they wanted to do.
The benefit of living in a Western country (I live in the UK) is that you can do what you want for the most part. But the fear of people’s opinions can stop us from exercising this freedom (as it has for me in the past).
This reminds me of two quotes by Roman emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius:
“We should listen only to those whose lives conform to nature. And the others? He bears in mind what sort of people they are—both at home and abroad, by night as well as day—and who they spend their time with. And he cares nothing for their praise—men who can’t even meet their own standards.”
I love this quote and come back to it time and time again because it’s so true. The fact is, we love ourselves more than others, but why do we care more about other people’s opinions than our own?
As a personal heuristic, I try to only listen to people whom I respect and who are virtuous, the type of people who can meet their own high standards.
“Then what is to be prized? An audience clapping? No. No more than the clacking of their tongues. Which is all that public praise amounts to—a clacking of tongues.”
I also come back to this piece of wisdom time and time again because we shouldn’t do things solely to get external praise; we should do things that we’re proud of for their own sake.
For example, when I write, I always try to post things I’m happy with. Of course, external praise is nice in the sense that it’s good to help people and have a positive impact on their lives.
But we shouldn’t crave other people’s praise so much that we lose a sense of why we’re really pursuing something. For example, I write because I’m learning as I go through life (I don’t claim to have everything figured out), and every post I write is a way for me to learn more about myself and the world, and as a side effect, I help others, and I also enjoy the flow state writing gets me into.
So I’ll drive the point home:
I promise no one cares what you’re doing. So start making decisions for you before your life is all used up. Start today because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
Carpe Diem.
God bless.
henrypaget.com 
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