Several months ago, I watched a video from my Grandma and Grandpa’s wedding day. The footage was from the 1950s.
Sadly, my grandparents have passed away, but watching this footage got me thinking, “Life is so short.”
I think it’s crucial to remind ourselves about the shortness of life.
Because many people make the mistake of acting like they’re going to live forever.
If you act like you’re going to live forever, you live with no sense of urgency. It’s this sense of urgency that drives us forward. Better to harness it to make the most of your life.
In this article, I aim to show you how brief life is, so you can make the most of the time you’ve been given—not squander it.
A lesson on living from a Roman Emperor
“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what’s left and live it properly.”- Marcus Aurelius, Stoic Roman Emperor
I remember first reading this quote in Marcus Aurelius’ diary called Meditations, and I instantly saw how useful it was.
When you deeply realise you’re going to die at some point, you realise it’s the ultimate deadline.
Being alive is a gift; if we don’t live our lives properly now, when will we?
How I live life properly
I agree with what Christianity and Stoicism (the prevalent philosophy in ancient Rome) say about living.
Here are the tenets of how I try to live properly.
- Live virtuously, in other words, be a good, noble person. If you follow the cardinal virtues such as wisdom, courage, temperance and justice, you’ll be living virtuously.
- Focus on what you have control over, pray for what you don’t.
- Love others as you love yourself.
- Help others in a way that matches your unique talents. To serve the common good is divine.
- Don’t let what happens affect you. Nothing can happen that isn’t natural.
Advice from a Holocaust survivor
“Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!’’ Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and psychologist.
Life is no dress rehearsal. We get one chance at living; if we don’t live this one properly, it will be gone forever.
That’s why it’s vitally important to live in such a way that, on our final day, we can go in peace.
In the book, The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying, by palliative care worker Bronnie Ware, she said one of the main regrets that people have on their deathbeds is:
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”.
This advice taught me that I need to pursue a life and vocation that makes me intrinsically happy. I say ‘vocation’ because most people spend most of their waking hours at work.
Where I’m from, every man and his father works in factories; there’s nothing wrong with that if that’s what someone wants to do.
But it wasn’t for me, so I quit my job and faced significant backlash from friends and coworkers. People said, “You’re silly for leaving a stable job.” I cared a bit, but not enough to make the same mistake twice and work another factory job because that’s what people expected of me.
I tried different jobs, like retail and a police officer, but they weren’t right either.
Now I work in the financial services industry, which I enjoy and feel valued in, and it gives me time to pursue my hobbies, like writing on the side.
If you feel like you’re living your life wrongly, there’s a good chance you aren’t listening to your gut. Journal what you’re feeling down, heck, go to therapy if you need to. Just make sure you get to a point where you’re intrinsically satisfied with life, and not living it based on others’ expectations. I found talking therapy to be invaluable.
Memento Mori
Memento Mori is Latin for “Remember you must die.” I know many people don’t want to think about death and find it uncomfortable, but that’s not how I see it.
I Memento Mori so I can Memento Vivere (which is Latin for remember to live).
I remember that I am mortal, so I can Carpe Diem (which is Latin for seize the day).
Without reminding myself of the ultimate deadline (death), I find it harder to seize the day.
Memento Mori gives me the push I need to live the life God or the universe planned for me.
Compare death with submitting an essay on time
Without a deadline, you would never submit your college/ university essay.
Without reminding yourself of the ultimate deadline, death, you’ll never find the urgency to live the life God or the universe planned for you.
This is why many people experience mid-life crises: they realise they’ve been climbing the ladder of success against the wrong wall, having never stopped to choose the right ladder. There was no urgency to.
The late Psychologist Carl Jung said the following in Man’s Search For a Soul:
“About a third of my cases are suffering from no clinically definable neurosis, but from the senseless and emptiness of their lives. It seems to me, however, that this can well be described as the general neurosis of our time. Fully two thirds of my patients have passed middle age.”
These words were published in 1933, but I think we’re still struggling with the same neurosis—the neurosis of our time.
This post was the January 15th edition of my newsletter.
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