It’s easy to blame the world when things don’t go as planned in our lives.
It’s easy to blame others.
But it’s most difficult to look in the mirror and blame ourselves.
But we are to blame.
Each one of us is where we are today because of the choices we made yesterday.
For example, I neglected to go out with my friends in my past relationship.
Which I felt bad about.
Good friendships started to wither.
And I almost didn’t realise it because I was so much under the spell of my ex-spouse.
And now the relationships ended.
I’m having to build those relationships up from scratch again.
I now need to make more of an effort.
By being in that relationship ( which was my choice).
I undone a lot of the good work I was doing towards being a better person.
For example I was getting into martial arts, I joined a running group, and I was in tip top shape.
And then I let myself get manipulated by an ex-spouse who ultimately didn’t have my best interests.
But I don’t blame her.
I don’t blame the world.
I blame myself.
They were all choices I made.
And now I can make better choices to get on the right track again.
One choice at a time.
The big lesson I learned the hard way is to never stop being you.
Especially in romantic relationships.
Because that’s the one place you should be unapologetically and authentically you.
Some people blame their lack of good health on lots of things, such as:
“ I’m just not a gym person”.
“ I like chocolate too much”.
“ I don’t enjoy working out”.
“ I’m too lazy”.
When people make excuses for their lack of progress in improving their health, they are not really taking responsibility.
If they took ownership of their health, they’d realise.
“Well, I got myself unhealthy, but I can get myself fit again with consistent effort.”
“If I’m not as healthy as I want to be, it’s completely up to me to change it, I’m not big boned”.
“ I can change my situation at any moment”.
Taking ownership of our lives is extremely important because we are the only ones who can do anything about it.
When we blame others and the world, we’re saying we have no agency to improve our lives.
We’re not all destined for doom.
We all have free will.
And we can make our lives whatever we want them to be like.
As long as we do three things.
Take 100% ownership of our lives.
Take 100% responsibility for our actions.
And devote 100% of our energy to what we can control. And avoid what we can’t control.
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