- No one gives a fuck what you do. So, make decisions for you.
- Hangovers aren’t worth it.
- Health is wealth.
- Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- You need to accept reality as it is rather than as you want it to be.
- Do the best with what you’ve got where you are.
- Comparison will steal your joy.
- If you get better one day at a time, you can eventually become the person you want to become.
- Sometimes, you need to part ways with people who aren’t good for you.
- Travel when you’re young. Don’t put it off until you’re retired; do it when you look and feel the best.
- Make time for what you enjoy. It’s the ultimate coping mechanism.
- Money isn’t everything, but it certainly helps you live more comfortably.
- Porn isn’t worth it. Life is better without porn.
- Spend time with your parents. They aren’t getting any younger.
- Be careful who you choose as your spouse. Choosing the wrong partner is a death sentence.
- Find ways to relax. It’s one of the most important things.
Tag: relationships
-
16 Things You Learn As You Get Older
-
What’s The Best Way To Get Over Someone You Love?
From experience, I’ve noticed that there is an unhealthy and healthy way to get over someone you love.
After my previous relationship ended, I deliberately avoided getting back into another relationship too soon.
And I’m still single.
There’s a reason for this.
If you’re getting into a relationship with someone to mask your feelings of loneliness and rejection, you’re getting with that person for the wrong reasons.
If they are the only reasons you get with someone, the relationship has no legs to stand on and will ultimately end ( and it will probably end badly, as most relationships do).
Instead, after breaking up with someone you love, work on being happy alone again. Then, when you’re ready for a relationship, be very picky about who you choose, only picking compatible potential partners.
I’m talking about partners who have a similar worldview and values to you, who you genuinely get on well with, someone who you’re 100% genuinely in to for their own sake.
My problem was that in my previous relationship, I only got with her because my ex before her broke up with me, and I felt insecure and like I wasn’t enough.
So I got with my ex to cover up this emotional hole, so to speak.
The only person who could cover up that emotional hole was myself.
So, the first takeaway is to give yourself time to process the feelings of the breakup and not get into a relationship with anyone immediately.
Secondly, use that time to find yourself, be the best version of yourself, and pursue your hobbies and curiosities. You’re single now. Pursue that freedom with zeal, and enjoy it.
Be very picky when you choose a spouse. If you’re with the wrong spouse, it can destroy your life. This is the most critical decision you ever make.
Spend time with friends and family and, most importantly, have fun and laugh. Now, no one is killing your vibe.
Determine your ideal partner and consider what type of man/woman you must become to attract that spouse.
Then, get to work on being that type of person.
Some hobbies that helped me get over my past relationships are :
Reading.
Writing.
Working out.
Going on walks.
Playing chess.
Meeting up for coffee and going on walks with friends.
Watching TV.
Cooking.
Playing video games.
Spending time with friends and family.
Taking on more responsibility at work.
Cleaning my house.
When you break up with someone, your ex leaves a vacuum in your life.
From experience, the primary way to get over your ex and fill that vacuum is to fill your time with hobbies and pursue worthwhile things.
And when you find the right person.
Try not to change yourself too much.
I know I’ve changed myself far too much in some relationships.
Remember: Be yourself; everyone else is taken.
-
Why Dating Is Just Like Sales ( 4 Reasons Why)
In this brave new world, finding love is as desirable as ever. But it’s much different from when people dated in the 20th century. Some say it’s better, and some say it’s worse, but either way, I believe that modern dating is just like sales.
Here’s why:
- When you date (especially usually dating apps), you are in a dating pool, and your job is to get warm leads, for example, 100; from those 100, you may only be interested in 10, and from those 10, you may find your one unicorn. But to find the one, we need to increase our leads.
- Modern life is as competitive as ever. In order to find the best spouse, we need to be the best people we can be. Otherwise, we settle for someone who is well below our standards and, alas, get a divorce.
- The state of culture makes finding the right person harder, and being able to sell ourselves is vital for finding the right spouse.
- Because of social media, everyone compares, so if you aren’t up to a decent standard, there are many others out there. If we can sell ourselves better than anyone else, this puts us in a position of power.
Now, we’ll dive deeper into these reasons.
1. Dating Is A Numbers Game
In the past two relationships, I found my ex-partners on dating apps. Here’s how the process started: I got x number of matches, went on dates, and found my previous girlfriends.
My mistake was selling myself to the wrong partners. We must sell ourselves to only the people we want to be with, not just anyone.
This is a hard idea to grasp, especially for those who grew up with television, because normally, the guy and gal meet each other in school or college, fall in love, and then are happily married and have a family.
I thought this would happen to me. If I found someone who was generally a good person and we loved each other, then we could make it work. (As a side note, only 1/4 of first-time relationships last.)
I was wrong. Now, I believe a successful relationship with a spouse is about having three things: heaps of trust, compatibility, and love.
Love isn’t enough by itself, and it never will be.
When you’re in the dating pool, it’s very important to be picky about who you choose to be your spouse.
The most important lesson from my previous failed relationships is to be very picky and not commit too soon. Try before you buy.
It doesn’t matter if you need to go on 100 dates. If you’re going to make the decision to be with someone for the rest of your life, you need to be wholly committed.
2. Be Competitive
In this competitive world, everyone is looking for more out of their relationships. It’s extremely important to constantly improve ourselves. If you’re not improving yourself already, start now.
Over the months and years, you’ll evolve to be an even better, more effective, and successful person, and you’ll attract spouses you generally want to be with. Don’t just settle because you’re ‘lonely’. One-third to half of all marriages fail.
The truth is we need to be very careful before we commit to a life partner.
3. Navigating Dating In Our Culture
Culture makes it more difficult than ever to find the right spouse. In the twentieth century, you’d meet your spouse in a pub or in the local community. Everyone was much more social, and the culture had more traditional Christian values.
In this Brave new world, finding the right spouse is like looking for a needle in a haystack.
4. Be Competitive But Avoid The Comparison Trap
The Comparison trap—Everyone uses social media, and the “grass is always greener” mentality is common.
On my dating journey, I’m trying to find genuine and authentic spouses who aren’t addicted to scrolling on social media 24/7. It’s literal junk food for your brain.
Make Sure You’re Not A Simp ( My Story Of Being A Simp)
I was in a relationship with Jenny. I met her on the dating app Hinge, and we dated for a couple of months. After I begged her to go out with me, she did, although I didn’t think she wanted to.
We were in a relationship for around a year; I constantly said I loved her, bought her flowers, and got her nice presents for birthdays and Christmas (spending far too much). Our sexual life was nonexistent.
She reciprocated almost zero love for me. Now, it’s clear to me that I was undoubtedly a simp, but I didn’t know it at the time.
Before getting into a relationship with Jenny, I read a popular book called The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and one of the five love languages described was receiving gifts (so I bought her gifts constantly as she seemed to like them).
I also took a quote from the book: literally, the quote was:
“But to you who are listening, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you…. Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.” Luke 6:27-31 (from the bible).
So, even though she wasn’t reciprocating my love, I thought, “If I keep showing her how much I love her, no matter what, she has to love me back.”
Oh, I couldn’t have been more wrong. In this relationship, I lost my sense of self-respect. Driving back from London (we’d been on a road trip), she said to me when we were talking about money, “You could spend more on me; I am your girlfriend,” even though she was showing me no love.
She went to Thailand to visit family for 2 weeks and returned, and she ended the relationship without seeing me. I was distraught because I had given her my all for a year.
The lesson I’ve learned is don’t be a simp and only get in a relationship with someone who truly respects you and treats you like you want to be treated.
Relationships only work when they’re reciprocal. You harm yourself by acting like a simp.
Most people don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who acts like a simp primarily because it’s inauthentic.
As a note: Jenny isn’t her real name; it’s a pseudonym to hide her identity.
The Bottom Line On Why Dating Is Just Like Sales
Put yourself out there, increase your dating pool, become the best person you can be, be picky, and don’t settle for someone who isn’t right for you.
Realise that love isn’t enough. When choosing your life partner, you need to be wholly committed. Is it a f$ck yes or a f$ck no to the relationship? But whatever you do, don’t be a simp.
Do you agree with my article on why dating is just like sales? What do you think? Let me know by commenting below. Please press the like button if you found it helpful.
To be notified when I write articles, subscribe to my substack.
henrypaget.com 