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From experience, I’ve noticed that there is an unhealthy and healthy way to get over someone you love.

After my previous relationship ended, I deliberately avoided getting back into another relationship too soon.

And I’m still single.

There’s a reason for this.

If you’re getting into a relationship with someone to mask your feelings of loneliness and rejection, you’re getting with that person for the wrong reasons.

If they are the only reasons you get with someone, the relationship has no legs to stand on and will ultimately end ( and it will probably end badly, as most relationships do).

Instead, after breaking up with someone you love, work on being happy alone again. Then, when you’re ready for a relationship, be very picky about who you choose, only picking compatible potential partners.

I’m talking about partners who have a similar worldview and values to you, who you genuinely get on well with, someone who you’re 100% genuinely in to for their own sake.

My problem was that in my previous relationship, I only got with her because my ex before her broke up with me, and I felt insecure and like I wasn’t enough.

So I got with my ex to cover up this emotional hole, so to speak.

The only person who could cover up that emotional hole was myself.

So, the first takeaway is to give yourself time to process the feelings of the breakup and not get into a relationship with anyone immediately.

Secondly, use that time to find yourself, be the best version of yourself, and pursue your hobbies and curiosities. You’re single now. Pursue that freedom with zeal, and enjoy it.

Be very picky when you choose a spouse. If you’re with the wrong spouse, it can destroy your life. This is the most critical decision you ever make.

Spend time with friends and family and, most importantly, have fun and laugh. Now, no one is killing your vibe.

Determine your ideal partner and consider what type of man/woman you must become to attract that spouse.

Then, get to work on being that type of person.

Some hobbies that helped me get over my past relationships are :

Reading.

Writing.

Working out.

Going on walks.

Playing chess.

Meeting up for coffee and going on walks with friends.

Watching TV.

Cooking.

Playing video games.

Spending time with friends and family.

Taking on more responsibility at work.

Cleaning my house.

When you break up with someone, your ex leaves a vacuum in your life.

From experience, the primary way to get over your ex and fill that vacuum is to fill your time with hobbies and pursue worthwhile things.

And when you find the right person.

Try not to change yourself too much.

I know I’ve changed myself far too much in some relationships.

Remember: Be yourself; everyone else is taken.