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Don’t try

My friend, all of this anxiety and lack of confidence is arising because you’re trying too hard.

What helps me especially when I speak to a crowd or read something out loud to a group of people is to focus on everyone else and on the words I’m saying, but I try not to focus on myself.

Try to become as present in the moment as possible and focus on one word at a time.

A similar thing happened to me with my writing

I used to suffer from writer’s block, and I found it extremely hard to write words on the page. It wasn’t until I stopped trying to write the perfect sentence that the words started flowing from my fingertips.

One of my favourite quotes

“It is not possible to have fun when you try.” – Nassim Taleb

I love this quote because when we try hard to do things, we become just that, a try-hard, and our output seems forced and overcooked.

I know it might seem like very basic advice to not try, but life becomes much more fun when you stop trying, trust me, and follow my lead on this. I guarantee you’ll come to the same conclusions as I.

Think about all the best times you’ve had in your life

I bet these times have occurred when you’re not trying, and you’re completely immersed in the moment, not thinking about yourself.

I’ve experienced some of the best feelings when I’ve been in a flow state while writing, skiing, and having good conversations with friends or reading a good book.

The goal you need to aspire to is to be humble

Many people misinterpret what it means to be humble. A common misconception is that being humble means to think less of yourself, which it doesn’t mean at all; instead, being humble means:

Thinking of yourself less.

The ultimate reason we get anxiety, depression, and become chronic overthinkers is that we focus too much on ourselves, and we become too prideful.

When people suffer from depression or negative thought patterns, their self-dialogue is very much self-focused. It’s common for people to say things like the following to themselves:

“I hate my life.”

“I wish I didn’t do that.”

“I’m not good enough.”

“No one likes me.”

“What if I look like a fool?”

The ultimate remedy is to forget about yourself. Forget about your ego; it doesn’t matter.

I always try to imagine the worst situation, and I always realise that it isn’t that bad

When I was in college, around 10 years ago, I was quaking in my boots at the thought of giving a presentation.

But then I thought, “What’s the worst that can happen? People might laugh at me, I might make a few blunders, but whatever happens, I will learn and grow from it and at the end of the day, even if I completely mess it up, I’ll still be alive and breathing, so however the presentation goes, it doesn’t really matter. Do your best.”

So I did the presentation, and I was congratulated by my teachers regarding the fact that it came out really well.

I’ll finish this post with some wisdom from the Stoic philosopher Epictetus that I try to live by:

“If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid in extraneous matters.”

God bless.