
Hello friend, I wanted to write this post because I wrote a Quora answer to the question:
Is it okay to stay single the rest of your life?
And my answer did very well, it got 29 upvotes, 2200 views, and one share, and I think it carries an important message.
Because so many of us see being single as a curse and something to avoid at all costs, but in fact, staying single is fine if you are unable to meet the right spouse.
Because it’s better to be single than with the wrong person.
Here is the exact breakdown I shared that resonated with thousands of people:
Yes, it’s absolutely okay to stay single for the rest of your life.
Many people choose to.
My grandpa sadly lost my grandma, then was alone for 20 years. He never had another partner.
Then some people never find the right person, so they’re single because they simply haven’t stumbled upon the right partner.
For me, as a single 27-year-old who has had 3 very difficult relationships and thus breakups so far in my life, I can absolutely see why a lot of people stay single.
Because it’s much better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. I personally wish I had never been in the past 3 relationships, but I guess I did learn a lot from them.
Around 50% of marriages end in divorce
This is a slightly terrifying statistic because we never think that out of all those happy couples we sometimes get jealous of, around 50% end in divorce anyway.
So don’t be tricked by appearances; they only give you a perspective, not the truth.
I know someone who has never settled down with a woman, and he always seems happy and full of spirit (he’s in his 50s now).
He’s dated people but never found the right person, and that’s fair enough. What else could he have done, lie and married someone he’s not into?
I’ve felt much happier being single than I have in the 3 relationships I’ve had
When you’re single, you can do what you want when you want. You have freedom, more money and essentially your only restriction is you.
Whereas when you’re in a relationship with someone who you know is not right for you, it’s completely draining, you’re essentially living a lie, a facade, and eventually the truth will come out, and the relationship will end, just like I’ve experienced in the relationships I’ve had.
What I’ve learned from Catholic priests and deacons
I’ve met several priests and deacons, as I’m Catholic, and none of them is married (or in a romantic relationship) apart from deacons who marry before they become deacons.
And these priests and deacons seem like some of the happiest and most jolly people I’ve ever met in my life.
So if they can live a happy life without a partner, so can I. But I will certainly always be receptive to any woman I do potentially see a future with. Because ultimately, I do want to get married and have kids when I stumble upon the right person. But I’ve definitely found peace with being single.
Man up, being single isn’t that bad, it can be as good as you want it to be
I used to feel bad for being single, like it was a place where all the losers go to rot. Now I see being single as a blessing. And I’m quite happy to be single until I stumble upon the right woman.
Being single forces you to get out of the house and stay busy, and if you embrace the single life, it can be one of immense joy, but I’ve learned that the most important thing is to stay busy.
As a single person, you must stay busy if you want to be happy
I’ve learned that if you want to be happy as a single person, you need to be run off your feet. Because when I’ve been lazy and done nothing but sit on my big bum, I’ve then tended to overthink and start feeling melancholic.
But I’ve learnt that if I stay busy with my hobbies, I will be too busy to feel melancholic (or at least to any severe degree).
I stay busy by doing the following:
- Reading.
- Writing.
- Going on walks.
- Working out.
- Going to church.
- Seeing friends and family.
- Cooking.
- Cleaning.
- Listening to music.
Remember, there’s nothing wrong with being single. It’s much better to be single than to settle for someone you’re not happy with.
Are you getting into a relationship out of neediness?
I’ve learned that intentionality is so important when choosing a partner. Remember that the person you spend the rest of your life with is not someone you should decide on in haste. Your partner should be someone you choose with intention, and they must meet the standards you set. My mistake in the past is that I’ve only got into relationships with anyone who will have me.
I hope this helps.
God bless.
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