Over the past 10 years I’ve read a lot of books, and most of them were not very good.
But over the past couple of years, I’ve learned how to separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to picking out and reading good books.
Lindy books = good books
You might be thinking “what does Lindy mean?”
Lindy means books, ideas or anything for that matter, that has stood the test of time.
For example, Christianity and The Bible is Lindy, they’ve stood the test of time and are both just as relevant now as they were two thousand years ago.
So I’ve learned to only read books that have stuck around.
As a rule of thumb, the older a book (the longer it’s survived) the better it probably is.
And if you don’t know where to start in regards to picking out and reading Lindy books, I recommend you read the stoics.
That is Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus.
And maybe if you’re a Christian like me you can read The Bible.
I’m also aware that the main religions carry a lot of wisdom, and hope to in the future, respectfully learn from other religions even though I’ll always be Catholic.
Non refert quam multos libros habeas, sed quam bonos.
It doesn’t matter how many books you have, but how good they are.
If you compare yourself to others in your pursuits you, simply put, cannot live happily.
Because if you constantly focus on the comparison trap, you’ll be so focused on getting better than others you’ll lose track of what it really means to better yourself.
There’s a quote by Marcus Aurelius that seems relevant to the point I’m trying to make and here it is:
“A better wrestler. But not a better citizen, a better person, a better resource in tight places, a better forgiver of faults.”
You see most of us try to be better than other people in many areas of our lives.
Maybe that’s by having more money, better cars, having more muscular bodies, better style, you get it.
Many of us try to one up each other in many of these hollow areas.
We shouldn’t be focusing on earning more money than so and so, or having the best house out of everyone.
We should instead focus on being the best people we can be, better people, better citizens.
And if we do we might become modern day saints.
And to me that’s the ultimate goal of life.
To become a saint.
Not to be the guy with the most houses or the most cars, because ultimately they don’t make me a better person.
Having too much money can actually cause you bigger problems.
For example the richest man in Ancient Rome Seneca regularly practiced being in poverty.
He did this because he knew that he had so much money the downside was huge.
Because he could lose it all.
So he practiced poverty so that if the worse case happened to him it wouldn’t effect him, because he’d already prepared for the worst.
Even though Seneca was wealthy he knew it didn’t make him a better person so he and all the other stoics focused on one thing above all.
Being people of virtue.
With the common good in mind above all.
You cannot live happily by comparing yourself to others, but what you can do is be the best person you can, the person god intended you to be. Comparing yourself to others only makes this harder.
I became Catholic last month, and I’ve been practising the faith for just under a year, and it’s helping me massively to become more virtuous and more grounded.
But it’s not the ultimate solution. Yes, my faith helps me, but I still struggle with vice and sin like anyone else. I just have my faith to pull me up when I’m in a funk, whereas when I wasn’t a practising Christian, I had no belief system to pull me out of my funk.
I’ve found that practising my faith gives me optimism to believe that no matter what I’m going through, things will get better as long as I keep going to church, keep praying and keep trying to be a virtuous person.
But even when doing everything by the book and right, life can still go against you because ultimately some things are out of our control.
Some people use this fact to be pessimistic, but I try not to and instead try to bear in mind the following advice from Saint Augustine:
“God does not command the impossible, but by commanding he instructs you both to do what you can and to pray for what you cannot, and he gives you his aid to enable you.”
I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to let things out of your control affect you too much.
Just focus on what you can do. Because that’s all you have power over.
I know I’m giving this advice, but honestly I fail at it all the time.
I’ve been writing on Quora for the past couple of years, and it just seems like a grind to keep on doing it.
I’m not enjoying it much, and I think it’s for several reasons.
1. I have to always write an answer to a question that might get views but one that I don’t necessarily care about.
2. I’m a pawn to the algorithm, and I don’t know what metrics this algorithm works from; it could be actually hiding me from my audience.
3. If something happens to Quora, my audience will vanish.
So I’m going to start blogging more on my website/ newsletter, and hopefully it will result in better and more authentic content.
I used to give myself a word count of 300 words to hit every day, but now I’ll write however many words I feel like writing. I’m not just going to try and write filler for the sake of it like I used to.
So I’ll try and keep this habit up every day and see how it goes.
Because I do love writing, but I want to write on my terms, not on Quora’s terms or anyone else’s for that matter.
Because that’s what all the great writers do.
Write on their terms.
And I’ll probably piss a few people off in the process.
Which I’m not bothered about because the worst thing that can happen to a writer is to be ignored.
Don’t put the next potential spouse you meet on a pedestal. Because if you do, you will turn them into a god. You should only be worshipping one god, and that is not your partner.
Don’t have sex until marriage. Because if you have sex with one of the first potential partners you meet, you won’t know if you’re really in love with them or just lusting over them. I’ve made this mistake with my ex-partners and never loved any of them. I merely lusted over them, and they lusted over me.
Be friends first. Because if you’re going to spend your life with someone, you must be best friends with that person, otherwise it won’t work.
Never stop being yourself just to curry favour with a potential spouse. You can’t put up an act forever; they’ll eventually see through your facade and may not like the real you. So be yourself from the very start.
Choose someone with the same values as you. I get very inspired when I go to church because I see some very old couples still madly in love with each other. I think that is because they share the same faith and thus the same values; their faith acts like glue, sticking them together until death.
Try to see beyond looks and try to gauge the potential spouse’s character because eventually looks fade, but our hearts don’t; in fact, they can even shine brighter through the years.
Don’t rush to get with someone. You’re bound to make a mistake if you do. Instead, listen to your conscience, and it will tell you when you’ve found the right spouse.
There isn’t just one person for you. Many people will make good spouses, but you need to put yourself out there and find them. Go to church, get involved in groups, and have the courage to speak to new people.
Be the person the universe or god wanted you to be. I guarantee that if you become the best version of yourself, potential partners will be lining up to date you.
Be the person that your ideal spouse would want to date. What type of person do you need to become in order to attract your ideal spouse?
The most important thing to remember
Make sure you only date people who mirror your values because all else is insanity. Trust me, I’ve been there. Make finding a spouse easy for yourself and start off by making it a nonnegotiable to choose someone with the same values as you.
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The following post is my Quora answer to the question “Is strength training 3 days a week enough?”
It contains my workout program.
Enjoy.
Here is the answer:
Is strength training 3 days a week enough?
Absolutely, I have found that I’m the most consistent when I work out only 3 times per week, because for me, anything more than this and it just becomes a chore.
You might think that my strength training sessions take long, but no, not at all. I get them done in 30-45 minutes. Here is the current workout program I’m using.
My three-day minimalistic workout routine
Day A (Monday)
Trap bar deadlift – one heavy set of 10 reps, then put the weight down by 10% and aim for 11 reps, then put the weight down another 10% and aim for 12 reps.
Dumbbell row -Follow the same sets as above, but merely drop down to the next dumbbell after each set.
Dumbbell curl – This exercise is performed the same as the sets above. But I only do two sets.
Day B (Wednesday)
Dumbbell bench press – one heavy set of 10 reps, then on the next set, aim for 11 reps with the next lightest dumbbell, then 12 reps with an even lighter dumbbell.
Dumbbell shoulder press- I use the same process as above.
Tricep pushdowns – I used to do 2 sets of these in the same manner I did dumbbell curls, but since I’ve had wrist surgery, they don’t feel good, so I’ve postponed doing isolation tricep exercises for now.
Day C (Friday)
Leg press – one heavy set of 10 reps, then reduce the weight by 10% and aim to get 11 reps, then reduce the weight by another 10% and get 12 reps.
Lat pulldown – Again, follow the same progression as above.
Seated calf raises – do one heavy set of 10 reps, then one lighter set of 11 reps (pause and squeeze at the top of each rep).
Notes on routine
Always do at least 3 warm-up sets per exercise before lifting heavy.
Take 3 minutes’ rest between sets to recover well and build maximum strength.
Eat a high-protein diet with lots of fruits and vegetables (eat mainly whole foods).
Get stronger every workout. Every week that you hit 10 reps on the first set, put the weight up next week, and then when you build to 10 reps with the new weight, increase the weight again. This way, you will always slowly but surely get stronger and build muscle.
Sleep 8 hours per night.
Go for a 30-45 minute walk on your days off from lifting.
Anyway, this is my workout routine, and I enjoy it. Try it, you might too.
This way of training is called reverse pyramid training, and it was popularised by Martin Berkhan from lean gains.
God bless.
I am not a medical professional. Please consult a doctor or physical therapist before starting a new routine, especially if you are recovering from surgery.
One last point I want to mention
Life’s too short to spend hours every day in the gym. If you follow a routine like the one above, you’ll get the biggest roi for your time investment.
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Hello friend, I recently wrote an answer to a Quora question.
And the answer did well, so I thought I would share it here.
Here is the exact breakdown of my Quora answer to the question:
What are your top 10 travel tips?
1. Just book the trip
The best travel hack is to book the damn trip. So many people talk about going places, but never actually do. Don’t talk about booking the trip, just bloody book it. Because if you don’t book it now, when will you? I used to be someone who said I would travel to Rome, as I always wanted to go. It took me years to muster up the courage to actually book the trip. Because I had two wrist surgeries, which meant I couldn’t travel anywhere for over a year, this experience really forced me to book a trip to Rome when my wrist healed. And going to Rome was one of my favourite trips I’ve ever been on.
2. Write a list of what you need (the non-negotiables)
If you’re like me, then you have the memory of a goldfish. So I try to make a list of all the non-negotiable items I’ll need and try not to take unnecessary items because they just take up space.
3. Get travel insurance
If bad things can happen, they can happen when you’re away on holiday abroad, so don’t skimp on travel insurance because if you get into a pickle abroad and get sick/injured and need treatment, you can sometimes have to pay thousands for treatment. Getting travel insurance completely dissolves this risk. On my last holiday, my travel insurance cost me £50, which is pennies compared to the price I’d have to pay if I were critically unwell abroad.
4. Go to places you’re generally interested in (don’t feel like you should go to places just because other people go to them)
With Instagram and social media as a whole, we see people going to all sorts of bucket list destinations, but in reality, it doesn’t matter if they’re bucket list destinations or not; all that matters is that you genuinely want to go to those destinations.
5. Wear comfortable shoes
Last year, when I travelled to Rome, I bought and wore new shoes on holiday. Unfortunately, these shoes gave me awful blisters on my feet, which I needed to get seen by a podiatrist. Luckily, my feet are fine now, but make sure that you’ve tested your new shoes before you go on a trip where you will walk a lot (when I was in Rome, some days I walked over 30k steps).
6. Try to get an early flight there and a late one back to maximise time away
This one is self-explanatory; if you’re travelling somewhere you want to make the most of your time, so try and book the early flight on the way there and the late flight on the way back, especially if you’re only going for a few days.
7. Book the sights that you want to see
When I travelled to Rome, I booked to see the Colosseum beforehand, but I didn’t book to see the Vatican, so I had to pay over the odds for a tour around the Vatican while in Rome. Next time I go somewhere, I will book all the main trips beforehand.
8. Leave some room for adventure and spontaneity
Don’t forget that when you travel, it should be an adventure. Go on a trip down an interesting neighbourhood, live like the locals, and try to learn some of the language. Learning about other cultures helps us learn about ourselves because we can always take things away from how other people live.
9. Don’t live like you normally would
You’re away from home. If you wanted to live as you did at home, why didn’t you just stay there?
10. Get up early
Again, this is self-explanatory. What’s the point of travelling to foreign lands if you’re going to sleep in and waste most of your day?
Here is a picture I took while I was in Rome from the Castel Sant’Angelo.
One final point on how travelling boosts confidence
I found that after my first solo holiday, I grew in confidence massively. I think it was because I very much relied on other people to plan the logistics of holidays and trips, but on this occasion, I had to do it myself, and it was actually really easy. It made me realise I’m capable of a lot more than I think if I’m just willing to try.
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Hello friend, I recently wrote an answer to a Quora question.
And the answer did well, so I thought I would share it here.
Here is the exact breakdown of my Quora answer to the question:
What is the best piece of advice you could give someone about life?
“Life is about execution rather than purpose.” – Nassim Taleb. (The picture is of Nassim).
I know I’m writing this post, and you’re reading it, but this isn’t how you truly learn. You learn by doing, by trial and error. But we live in a world where we read and watch videos far more than we do.
Doing shouldn’t supplement reading; reading should supplement doing.
So go out in the world, try different jobs, try different experiences and even write about them to learn more about how they made you feel and how they did or didn’t help you. I use writing as a tool for self-exploration.
If I didn’t try writing, I would have never found my passion
I love writing, and it’s something I will do for the rest of my life, no matter what occupation I’m in. I just love the flow state writing puts me in, and I love how I can help an unlimited number of people from a single post I write.
I was also curious about religion, so I spoke to a priest and started practising Catholicism, and now I’m fully Catholic. And it’s had an amazing impact on my life; it now feels full of meaning and has structure and order to it, but if I had never gone and spoken to the priest, I would have never experienced the benefits like I am now.
I’ve followed this advice with the jobs I’ve had
I’ve been a pot washer at KFC, a volunteer policeman, a pizza delivery man and even worked in financial services. Each experience has taught me about what I do and don’t like in the world of work.
We don’t gain wisdom by doing nothing; we gain it from making mistakes and learning from them. Sometimes I look back at myself from 10 years ago, and I think to myself, “wow, I was such an idiot”, and you might think it’s bad and negative that I talk to myself like that, but I don’t see it that way. I see it as a clear sign I’ve grown.
My worst fear
I don’t want to be the guy who never does or experiences anything new in life and is still stuck in the dead-end job that he was in in his early 20s. We can learn just as much from people we don’t want to be like as from the people we do want to be like.
Another quote from Nassim Taleb that I love
“It is not possible to have fun when you try.”
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