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Hello friend, yesterday, when I was reading the stoic philosopher Epictetus, there was some good advice on how you must make the best use of the impressions in your mind.

And it got me thinking, “How many of us really make good use of the impressions in our minds?” The truth is, I don’t think many of us do (I’m guilty of this).

In fact, many of us actually make bad use of the impressions in our minds because it’s very easy to catastrophize our feelings and think the worst.

One example of this is how I reacted after I had my wrist surgery. Because it was uncomfortable getting my wrist back to normal, I kept thinking I had done further damage to it when I hadn’t. I was merely catastrophizing what I was feeling and thus thinking the worst.

Life’s hard enough we don’t need to make it tougher

In some ways, I’ve been dismissive of the stiff upper lip mentality because when taken too far, people end up burying their emotions so deep that they can no longer access them and make good use of them.

But like many pieces of advice, having a stiff upper lip can be helpful depending on the context.

Stoic Sally and neurotic Norman

Sally is a tough, middle-aged woman tested by life. She focuses only on what’s under her control, and she doesn’t let her emotions affect her in any scenario (both good and bad emotions). As a result, she’s known as a level-headed individual; her friends even call her stoic Sally.

Sally has a friend called Norman, and he is the complete opposite of Sally. He always thinks the worst, and he lets every setback get to him. He identifies with every positive and negative emotion and thus has the demeanour of having an up-and-down personality.

Stoic Sally is overall much happier and a much more resilient person. She accepts every moment as if she chose it.

I try to be more like Stoic Sally, but I’ve certainly got some neurotic Norman in me. I think we all have.

Stoic Sally is the epitome of the stiff upper lip mentality.

How to not add to your troubles

I find that it helps to just take each day as it comes, and not to get too focused on what could happen in the future. Try your best not to extrapolate beyond the present moment.

For example, I remember a few weeks ago I hurt my leg, and I kept on projecting myself into the future and thinking “what if I can’t go on that hike, etc.”

But as soon as I grounded myself in the present moment, I focused on what I could do to help with the recovery of my leg, and before long, my leg was feeling as good as new, and I’ve even walked 20k steps today.

Don’t add to your troubles by staying in a job you’re unhappy in

I’ve worked some pretty awful jobs, such as being the pot washer in KFC, and being the chief bin man of the engineering department when I used to work in a prepared meals factory.

I stayed in these jobs that I hated for way too long. I could have just got rid of my troubles by leaving earlier, but no, I stayed for way too long, and I made my life miserable the longer I stayed in these jobs.

Read lindy wisdom

Lindy is a concept coined by Nassim Taleb; it means something that’s stood the test of time. I found that when I started reading about stoicism and also practising Catholicism, I naturally made my life much more bearable and less stressful in general.

Don’t listen to the majority of people on the internet

I used to be a right sucker, I was so gullible to follow the advice of many BS merchants on YouTube and the web as a whole. I’ve found if you want life advice that works, then go to ancient wisdom, i.e, stoic texts and the Bible.

Expect the worst

Sometimes we catastrophize certain situations in our lives, but in reality, if we think about what the actual worst-case scenario would be, then most of the time it’s not that bad.

For example, when I had my second wrist surgery, I kept on getting stressed at the slightest bit of pain when I was getting back into doing my exercises. Then I said to myself, “I’m following the advice I was given, the worst case scenario will mean I will just need another surgery, I’m sure I can get through it, I’ve already got through two surgeries”, saying that paradoxically eased the mental anguish I was feeling.

As humans, we fear the unknown. When you can describe a worst-case scenario, you clarify the unknown, and then the fear of the unknown goes away, and you will feel better. At least that’s my experience.