- Experiencing the world and different activities. If you never try anything new, it will be impossible to find what you enjoy.
- Going out of your comfort zone. I recently flew to Rome, a place I’ve always wanted to go to, and I went solo. It helped me build so much confidence in myself.
- Eating healthily and working out. True happiness is being in impeccable health.
- Reading. When you read, you learn about some of the most interesting people who have graced this earth. It’s safe to say we can learn how to be happy from exceptional people. My favourite books are Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, Principles by Ray Dalio and Benjamin Franklin’s Biography, An American Life. They taught me and helped me look at life through a different paradigm.
- Happiness is in doing things, not achieving things. For example, I love to read and write. No matter how many people read my posts or books I read, I love reading and writing, so I’ll continuously pursue them for their own sake.
- Don’t smoke, overdrink or do drugs. Never let anything or anyone overly infiltrate and compromise your mind. It’s all you have. I’ve done some of the most stupid and regretful things when I’ve been drunk.
- Engage in hobbies. We all like different things; experiment with hobbies, and you’ll eventually find hobbies you enjoy. Having activities we regularly do that we enjoy makes us happier.
- Get 8 hours of deep, quality sleep every night. This is the most underrated tip of all time.
- Change how you view negative situations and stressors. We can’t be happy all the time. Negative emotions serve a purpose; they help us avoid situations that we shouldn’t get involved in, and they’re just as important as positive emotions. For example, in poetry, writing, and music, some of the best artistic endeavours have come from a place of melancholic emotions. Art wouldn’t be so beautiful if only filled with positive emotions and fake smiles.
- Socialise. There’s no better sense of happiness than laughing with friends and family.
- Direct your life to some overall meaning. Whether that’s the goal of being an artist, a police officer, or a doctor, whatever it is, having something you’re aiming for in your life helps you get through the bad times because he who has a reason to live can get through any how.
Author: Henry Paget
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What’s The Secret To Happiness ( 11 Things That Help)
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Why It’s Important to Make Even Small Progress Towards Your Goals
You’re ahead of someone who isn’t trying, even if you take the smallest step.
Because every time we work towards a specific goal, we increase our chances of achieving that goal.
For example:
The more often you go to the gym, the more likely you are to be physically strong.
The more you read, the more you boost your erudition.
The more you write and post online, the more likely you are to build an audience.
You get the point.
But the more you get stuck in inertia and never put any effort into achieving your goals, the more likely you’ll stagnate and even get worse as time passes.
In my opinion, the best progress is slow progress.
Because slow progress is maintainable.
And progress is usually slow.
So be grateful for the progress you make, no matter how small.
It will spur you on to achieve more.
Here’s how I’m following my advice:
I’m writing at least 30 minutes per day.
I’m working out daily, even if that means only going on a walk ( but I strength train thrice weekly).
I’m reading daily.
So, if I complete these three tasks every day, I will have voted three times for myself to become a better person.
After a year, I would have voted 1095 times to become a better person.
Whenever we complete a habit that improves us, we vote for ourselves to become better people.
The secret to life is voting for yourself every day throughout your life.
If you start practising this advice now.
In a few years, you’ll be thanking me.
I’ve already witnessed the benefits of voting for yourself.
I learned this idea from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits.
I highly recommend you read Atomic Habits; It’s a great book.
If you can’t afford to pay for his book, you can read his articles for free on Jamesclear.com.
I have much more respect for the person in the arena fighting with his blood, sweat, and tears to actualise his potential than for the person who never has the courage to do anything worthwhile.
Start small, achieve big.
A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.
The key is to keep taking those steps.
Don’t give up after taking a few, like most people do.
Yes, you will doubt yourself.
But persevere.
If you do.
You’ll be unstoppable.
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Subtle Life Lessons From Gladiator
In the first Gladiator movie, the emperor of Rome, Marcus Aurelius, is killed by his son Commodus so that Commodus can reign over Rome.
When Commodus is lined up for the throne after Marcus’ death, he strikes at Marcus’s general, Maximus.
Commodus kills Maximus’s wife and child and enslaves Maximus.
Maximus gets bought as a slave and fights as a gladiator to attain his freedom.
Maximus does so well that he ends up fighting on the biggest stage of all the Roman Collesaeum
Maximus destroys all his opponents, eventually confronting Commodus and eventually killing him. However, due to an injury inflicted by Commodus’s sword, Maximus dies shortly afterwards, and he is reunited in the afterlife with his wife and child.
I believe this film has two different meanings:
- The randomness of having a child – Marcus Aurelius was known as one of Rome’s best and most virtuous emperors. If you’ve read Marcus Aurelius’ mediations (his personal diary), you’ll know that he prized virtues such as self-control, courage, justice and honesty. His son Commodus portrayed none of these virtues and was ultimately a degenerate. It’s also worth noting that historically, the film is incorrect regarding Commodus killing Marcus Aurelius (Marcus actually died of natural causes), but what is true is that Commodus certainly was a degenerate and was nothing like Marcus. This shows that no matter how good parents we are, we cannot completely control how our children turn out. For our children to be virtuous people, they need to decide to practice virtue themselves and follow philosophy.
- Virtue wins over vice. Maximus was a good man. He gave his life to Rome, the emperor, and his family. Commodus was the opposite of this, and ultimately, Maximus overthrew Commodus, and Rome was restored to peace after Commodus’s death. This is the battle between good and evil. And normally, good prevails. Virtue wins over vice, and if we are virtuous people, we will win in life just as the people of Rome won against a degenerate dictator.
- Note: Maximus was also a fictional character. The film uses a historical backdrop, so it’s important not to take the film literally in a historical sense.
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How To Turn Your Life Around When It’s Going No Where
Unemployed?
Apply for jobs, no matter how beneath you they may seem. ( I used to be a pot washer for KFC.) You need to start somewhere.
Broke?
When you get your entry-level job, save at least 10% of your income every month until you have three months’ worth of income. This works well as a safety fund, which will support you if anything bad happens and you need to pay out sudden expenses. Once you have your safety fund, I’d start investing in the stock market, i.e., the S&P 500.
Miserable?
Start engaging in hobbies and activities that you enjoy for their own sake. I like reading, going on walks, playing chess, watching football, TV series, and films, and working out. You won’t have time to feel miserable when you’re engaged in activities you enjoy for their own sake.
Balding?
Join the club (the below picture shows my receding hairline).
Like many men I’ve faced this problem : it’s best to either shave your head, i.e., get a buzz cut, or get a hair transplant. Pick one. I don’t care enough about my hair to get a hair transplant; I’d rather put that money towards investments or a holiday.
Living with parents?
Use it to your advantage to try to climb the ladder in your entry-level role (even in jobs like working at Kentucky Fried Chicken KFC, you can earn a decent salary by climbing up the ladder), and eventually, you’ll earn enough money to rent your own place or maybe even buy your own house. While you’re living with your parents, you can save more, so make the most out of it.
Friendless?
Join meetup groups (ie meet up.com), and you’ll be able to meet like-minded people.
Pursue hobbies which will help you meet people who are interested in similar things to you. There are even apps where you can make friends. You could also reach out to some colleagues (when you get your job) or some old friends to rekindle old friendships.
Depressed and miserable?
Again, focus your energies on activities you enjoy. It’s almost impossible to feel depressed when you’re doing something you enjoy. If you feel miserable, maybe journal down why you feel that way. You may be able to untangle your mind on paper and find the root cause of your unhappiness. Once you know the root cause, you can take steps to become happier.
You can definitely turn your life around.
Many other people have.
So, if another human can do it.
So can you.
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16 Things You Learn As You Get Older
- No one gives a fuck what you do. So, make decisions for you.
- Hangovers aren’t worth it.
- Health is wealth.
- Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- You need to accept reality as it is rather than as you want it to be.
- Do the best with what you’ve got where you are.
- Comparison will steal your joy.
- If you get better one day at a time, you can eventually become the person you want to become.
- Sometimes, you need to part ways with people who aren’t good for you.
- Travel when you’re young. Don’t put it off until you’re retired; do it when you look and feel the best.
- Make time for what you enjoy. It’s the ultimate coping mechanism.
- Money isn’t everything, but it certainly helps you live more comfortably.
- Porn isn’t worth it. Life is better without porn.
- Spend time with your parents. They aren’t getting any younger.
- Be careful who you choose as your spouse. Choosing the wrong partner is a death sentence.
- Find ways to relax. It’s one of the most important things.
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Some Helpful Life Advice
- You need two things to succeed in life: confidence and ignorance.
- Avoid habits that make life harder, i.e. drugs and alcohol.
- Live a life true to yourself.
- Experiment.
- Learn from experimenting.
- Fill your day with hobbies.
- Save and invest in the stock market (I like index funds).
- Life without music isn’t worth living.
- Daily walks are essential.
- Daily reading is essential.
- Train with weights 3 times per week.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff.
- Only take advice from people you respect.
- Your experiences and opinions are as meaningful as those on the internet.
- Eat healthily.
- Sleep 8 hours per night.
- Stay hydrated.
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How To Become Extraordinary (Do What The Extraordinary Do)
- Avoid doing what 99% of the population is doing. If you do the same as normal people, you get normal results.
- Get in the best shape possible, lift weights 3 times per week, eat healthily, get enough sleep, get stronger, et cetera. Wherever your body goes, your mind will follow. If you get in great physical shape, you are more likely to feel better mentality. Health is everything.
- Practice positive habits. I’ll give my example. These are the habits I try my best to stick to every day: I read, write, work out, go for a walk, tidy my house and meditate. You have everything to gain by following these habits and nothing to lose. Swap bad habits for good ones. To become extraordinary, we must win today and try to win every other day for the rest of our lives; if we do, we might become extraordinary. All we can do is the work, and that’s required every day.
- Get up early. Part of winning the day is winning the morning, so getting up early at 6 a.m. is usually best. I’m fully aware that people are on different work shifts, and so am I, so I replace getting up early with getting up several hours before my shift so I can work on myself.
- Read: to become extraordinary, we must determine what extraordinary means. We can only discover this by following our curiosities and becoming more erudite. Reading helps us find out what we want. The more you know, the more you can do, and the more you can do, the more opportunities you have to succeed.
- Read about extraordinary people and associate with exceptional people. By learning about the lives of the extraordinary, we can gain road maps for becoming extraordinary in our own lives. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so if you are friends with exceptional people, there is a good chance you’ll be extraordinary yourself.
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What’s The Best Way To Get Over Someone You Love?
From experience, I’ve noticed that there is an unhealthy and healthy way to get over someone you love.
After my previous relationship ended, I deliberately avoided getting back into another relationship too soon.
And I’m still single.
There’s a reason for this.
If you’re getting into a relationship with someone to mask your feelings of loneliness and rejection, you’re getting with that person for the wrong reasons.
If they are the only reasons you get with someone, the relationship has no legs to stand on and will ultimately end ( and it will probably end badly, as most relationships do).
Instead, after breaking up with someone you love, work on being happy alone again. Then, when you’re ready for a relationship, be very picky about who you choose, only picking compatible potential partners.
I’m talking about partners who have a similar worldview and values to you, who you genuinely get on well with, someone who you’re 100% genuinely in to for their own sake.
My problem was that in my previous relationship, I only got with her because my ex before her broke up with me, and I felt insecure and like I wasn’t enough.
So I got with my ex to cover up this emotional hole, so to speak.
The only person who could cover up that emotional hole was myself.
So, the first takeaway is to give yourself time to process the feelings of the breakup and not get into a relationship with anyone immediately.
Secondly, use that time to find yourself, be the best version of yourself, and pursue your hobbies and curiosities. You’re single now. Pursue that freedom with zeal, and enjoy it.
Be very picky when you choose a spouse. If you’re with the wrong spouse, it can destroy your life. This is the most critical decision you ever make.
Spend time with friends and family and, most importantly, have fun and laugh. Now, no one is killing your vibe.
Determine your ideal partner and consider what type of man/woman you must become to attract that spouse.
Then, get to work on being that type of person.
Some hobbies that helped me get over my past relationships are :
Reading.
Writing.
Working out.
Going on walks.
Playing chess.
Meeting up for coffee and going on walks with friends.
Watching TV.
Cooking.
Playing video games.
Spending time with friends and family.
Taking on more responsibility at work.
Cleaning my house.
When you break up with someone, your ex leaves a vacuum in your life.
From experience, the primary way to get over your ex and fill that vacuum is to fill your time with hobbies and pursue worthwhile things.
And when you find the right person.
Try not to change yourself too much.
I know I’ve changed myself far too much in some relationships.
Remember: Be yourself; everyone else is taken.
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How To Stay Calm When Life Makes You Stressed
I’ve just worked 6 days in a row and I’ve felt anxious, overworked and stressed out of my mind today.
So much so that I didn’t feel like writing this post.
So what did I do to sort myself out?
I did some box breathing.
If you’re feeling stressed please try this box breathing exercise it really helps.
It helps by taking you out of a fight or flight response and puts you in a rest and digest state.
I also listen to some relaxing music. Here are a couple of beautiful songs I love.
I also pray to god to give me strength.
A simple prayer like this will suffice:
“Dear god give me the strength needed to get through the day.”
God will help you I promise.
Another thing I do is have a power nap.
Recently I’ve been extremely busy and have been pushing the envelope.
Lying down and sleeping on the couch for 15 minutes will give you the energy you need when you have a mid-day slump.
You can also break down your problems down to one problem at a time.
Think step by step.
It can be easy to think of a million things we have to do in the future.
But then fail to do the one thing we can do now.
Focus on one thing at a time.
Bird by bird.
Don’t lose touch with the present moment.
Because the moment you do.
You lose touch with reality.
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Should You Eat Before Lifting Weights?
It’s entirely up to you.
Below is a picture of Martin Berkhan. He’s a strength coach and proponent of intermittent fasting.
He’s strong ( can deadlift 600 pounds or 272kg for reps) eats a high protein diet and controls his calories.
Below is Mike Matthews author of Bigger Leaner Stronger.
He mostly recommends eating breakfast in his books (not fasting) and he’s also strong, eats a high protein diet and controls his calories.
As you can see they both have great physiques. And they both control their calories, lift weights to get strong and eat a high protein diet.
One fasts before workouts and the other normally eats a pre workout meal.
Ultimately as long as your getting stronger at the gym then it’s optional to eat before your workouts.
As long as your eating enough calories for your goal ( fat loss, muscle gain etc) eating enough protein, and getting stronger in the gym.
It’s optional to eat before your workouts. But I always eat something before I workout. Usually something that’s high in protein and carbs.
Note: If you are going to fast I’d have a scoop of whey protein mixed with 250-500 ml of water 30 minutes before working out (although this isn’t fasting in the strict sense as there are calories in a protein shake).
The protein you consume before your workout will make you more anabolic rather than catabolic.
Long periods of fasting (going without calories) put you in a catabolic state (muscle wasting).
This is why hitting your daily calorie and protein target is so important.
henrypaget.com 