Author: Henry Paget

• 13 Brutal Truths About Building Unbreakable Mental Resilience

  

  The past two years have been challenging. Having chronic wrist pain that gets in the way of your hobbies and life is difficult.

  My mental health suffered, but I’m 7 weeks post-op from my last wrist surgery, and the whole situation has been a painful learning experience.

  Because my mental health has suffered, yet I’ve managed to get through the worst of it, I thought I’d write an article on how to be mentally strong and fearless.

  You may be wondering why I’m also including how to be fearless, and it’s because of this:

  When you’re dealing with chronic pain, even waking up is enough to inspire fear in you. 

  Before I get to the 13 tips, I want you to remember that fear is there to protect you, but sometimes we fear things not worth fearing.

  1. Do Hard Things to Build Unbreakable Mental Strength

  When you see yourself overcoming insurmountable challenges, your mental strength will go through the roof.

  Bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger became the best bodybuilder in the world. He then became a movie star and a politician.

  Achieving difficult things leads to achieving more difficult things; it’s a virtuous cycle.

  What challenging task/ goal will you overcome?

  2. You’ve Survived Worse Before—You Can Do It Again

  List all the times you’ve overcome challenges.

  When you write them down, you’ll realise “I’ve overcome difficult situations before, and I can do it again, there’s clear evidence I can.”

  3. Surround Yourself With Mentally Strong People

  Not everyone is blessed enough to have mentally strong people in their lives; that’s why I read autobiographies/ biographies of mentally strong people.

  Some of the best ones I’ve read are:

  Total Recall by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

  An American Life, a biography of Benjamin Franklin by Walter Isaacson. 

  Elon Musk’s biography by Ashlee Vance.

  4. Your Fear Might Be Rational—and That’s Okay

  Not all fear is redundant. A couple of months ago, one evening, I was driving on a 60 mph road when, out of nowhere, a white car sped toward me. The driver was speeding on the wrong side of the road, which was my side of the road.

  I feared for my life and made a quick decision to drive on the grass off the road. I managed to swerve to avoid the driver and was okay.

  Thankfully, fear saved me from death.

  5. Mental Strength Is Built Daily, Not Overnight

  Like physical strength, mental strength is built day by day.

  You don’t become mentally strong by sitting in front of the television watching friends.

  You get it by taking on and overcoming challenges daily.

  6. Real Strength Only Comes From Real Struggle

  Most people think challenges test your mental strength, but they don’t; they build it.

  I feel like I’ve grown so much since I developed this chronic wrist problem; when my wrist heals, I’ll feel like I’m in dreamland.

  7. Develop Thick Skin and Ignore the Noise

  Earlier, on one Quora post, someone said, “This post is stupid.” I replied, “Can you give me constructive feedback on why you think it’s stupid instead of insulting me and my work?’ He didn’t reply.

  The truth is, no matter what you do, there will always be people who hurl abuse at you. The world has always been like this and always will be. I expect rude comments.

  8. Study the Mentally Strong to Borrow Their Courage

  One of my inspirations is the former UFC fighter and champion Khabib Nurmagomedov.

  He’s one of the most mentally strong fighters the UFC has ever had.

  Khabib grew up in Dagestan, Russia, wrestling with bears.

  Here’s what Khabib says about how living a hard, tough, disciplined life breeds success.

   “When you have a hard life, a tough life, success becomes very easy.”

  9. We Live Easier Lives Than Any Generation Before Us

  It wasn’t long ago that we had to go outside to use the loo in outhouses.

  Now, with our modern-day comforts, we’re getting soft.

  Life is too easy now in every way.

  I often remind myself of this quote by former world champion weightlifter Jerzy Gregorek:

  “Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”

  10. Seek Intellectual Discomfort at Work

  I recently wrote and published my first book, 10 Stoic Principles that Will Make You Invincible. I rechecked it about 10 times and had to make sure there were no errors. It was challenging, but I know I’m a better writer for it, and my next book will be better.

  In the corporate world, I’ve constantly challenged myself, and more often than not, when you meet those challenges, you become mentally stronger and better.

  11. Your Comfort Zone Is Lying to You

  Lift the heavier weight (safely), and go on that solo holiday to Rome. Go diving. Whatever you’re scared of, do it.

  You’ll realise your fear was imagined all along.

  12. You’ll Be Forgotten—So Stop Being Afraid

  One day, you’ll take your last breath. Stop being afraid. Most things are not worth the fear our minds tell us.

  13. Fear Is Just an Impression—You Can Drop It

  Everything changes when you realise you don’t have to be a prisoner to your thoughts and emotions, you can drop them whenever you like, just like you stopped thinking about your ex, you can stop thinking the worst and get rid of your fear.

  What tip do you find most helpful? 

  –

  Join my free weekly newsletter and receive an essay every Thursday designed to help you grow. No paywalls, just insights. Subscribe for free.

  7th Jan 2026

  improvement, mental strength, mental-health, resilience, wisdom

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• I Published My First Book

  

  Hello friend, I hope 2026 is an excellent year for you.

  
  Many readers asked me to publish a book.
  So I compiled my essays on Stoicism into a coherent ebook.

  
  My book is currently free on Amazon for the next 2 days; it’s called 10 Stoic Principles That Will Make You Invincible.

  
  To download the free ebook, click here.

  
  Feel free to let me know what you think about the book by either leaving a review on Amazon or emailing me at henrypaget976@gmail.com. I’m always looking for constructive feedback so I can improve.

  
  Hope you enjoy the book!

  1st Jan 2026

  epictetus, improvement, Marcus Aurelius, seneca, stoicism, wisdom

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• The Meaning Of Christmas

  

  Hello friend, Merry Christmas. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family, friends and loved ones.

  I want to mention the true meaning of Christmas briefly, or at least what I know.

  Christmas was heavily influenced by ancient Roman culture 

  The ancient Romans celebrated a festival called Saturnalia to worship the Roman god Saturn, the god of agriculture and time, who ruled in the golden age. Saturnalia lasted from the 17th of December to the 23rd of December.

  What was the Golden Age? 

  The golden age can be thought of as heaven on earth. In the golden age, Saturn’s reign was characterised by:

  • Peace between humans and nature.
  • No war.
  • No private property.
  • Equality.

  The celebration of Saturnalia

  People were allowed to get drunk and gamble. Everyone wore the same clothes to practice equality. People gave gifts freely, enjoyed feasts accompanied by jokes and all-around joy.

  The Romans also celebrated Sol Invictus

  Sol Invictus was a celebration on the 25th December to celebrate the rebirth of the sun and another cycle (because after December, the days start getting longer, and Romans saw the sun as being “reborn”).

   Constantine the Great and the Edict of Milan

  Constantine the Great was ruler of the Roman Empire from 306 to 337 (AD), and he issued the Edict of Milan, which granted religious freedom across the Empire.

  This was a huge turning point because Christian’s had been martyred for hundreds of years, and finally Christianity was now accepted.

  Constantine the Great later became a Christian himself on his deathbed.

  Theodosius I and Christmas

  Theodosius I was the emperor of Rome from 379 to 395 AD, and he made Christianity the religion of the Roman Empire.

  Before Theodosius I, Christmas was likely practised privately.

  Christmas replaced Saturnalia and Sol Invictus

  During Theodosius’s reign, the church adopted the 25th December, Christmas, to celebrate Jesus Christ’s birth, and Christmas eventually replaced pagan festivals.

  Pagan celebrations were popular across Rome, so it made sense for Christmas to replace them on a similar date and keep what worked, like:

  • Festivities, parties and celebrations.
  • Giving (showed God’s generosity).
  • Light and candles- they were used to celebrate the rebirth of the sun on Sol invictus, but now were used to celebrate Jesus’s birth (the light of the world).
  • Reversals of roles – During Saturnalia, slaves were free and even served by their masters. At Christmas, helping the poor and looking after the most lowly is still important (think of helping in soup kitchens on Christmas).

  Christmas developed, but this remained

  Initially, Christmas was celebrated in churches, and it has since developed in many different ways.

  What remained was that Christmas still celebrates Jesus Christ’s birth, feasting, music, lights, giving, and overall jolliness.

  Saint Nicholas of Myra (the original Santa Claus)

  In the 4th century AD Saint Nicholas was a wealthy bishop from Myra (now called Demre), in Turkey.

  Three impoverished sisters were about to be sold into slavery.

  Nicholas of Myra paid their dowries so they could seek husbands and marry.

  The true meaning of Christmas: 

  To give to the people who really need it. Not to go wild in extravagance.

  –

  Enjoy my content? Click here to subscribe to my newsletter and receive a free weekly essay. I don’t offer paywalled content (but you can support my work).

  24th Dec 2025

  Christmas, festive period, giving, Romans, Xmas

  ---

• How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Everything

  

  To listen to this article, click here.

  I’ve struggled with anxiety and worry for a while, and I’ve not completely conquered them. 

  But I have got much better at minimising how much anxiety and worry I feel. Here are my top 7 tips.

  1. Will This Even Matter in 10 Years?

  Recently, I’ve had wrist surgery for the second time in a year, and fingers crossed, hopefully my wrist is fixed for good.

  Although I’m currently in a wrist splint, so I won’t know until I start using my wrist properly.

  In a worst‑case scenario, suppose my wrist isn’t fixed properly again. I’m confident it will be corrected over time because the first surgery fixed the major issue, and this second surgery has fixed another issue caused by the initial injury.

  So I tell myself, with this wrist pain, will it matter in 10 years? And the answer is no. It shouldn’t even matter in a year if everything goes to plan.

  Our minds tend to make problems much worse than they are.

  Don’t fall into the worry trap.

  By putting our worries and anxieties into perspective, we can diminish most of them. So if what you’re worrying about now won’t matter in 10 years, don’t worry about it.

  2. Accept What You Can’t Control

  In our lives, we have control of some things and little control over others.

  For example, I write a lot on Quora, and many people leave positive comments on my answers, but some are downright rude and nasty.

  I know that no matter what I do in life, I’ll get haters; it’s the same for you.

  Ultimately, we can’t control people’s opinions about us.

  But we can live up to our own standards.

  And that’s the saner thing to do. 

  “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” – Theodore Roosevelt

  3. Worry Lives in the Future — Stay Present

  Last year, during my first wrist surgery recovery, I kept projecting myself into the future, worrying, “What if my wrist isn’t fixed? What if something went wrong?”

  And this caused a gut-wrenching feeling of worry about what might happen in the future.

  The worry was getting out of control, so I started a box breathing routine, which helped me stay present and avoid getting caught up in worrying about the future.

  Remember, most worry and anxiety are about all the million things that may happen in the future. 

  If you can become aware of the present moment by box breathing, or slow, relaxed breathing, all your worries will pretty much vanish.

  Going on walks is great for this.

  4. Plan for the Worst, Expect the Best

  The ancient Stoics would keep in mind the bad that can happen ie a parent’s death, your own illness or mortality.

  But they wouldn’t worry about it. They’d merely keep these things in mind so that if they happened, they wouldn’t be struck dumb by them.

  It’s good to be aware of what Lady Fortuna can do. But don’t be so affected that these worst-case scenarios cloud your judgment.

  In philosophy, there’s a concept called Memento Mori, which means ‘Remember that you must die’ in Latin.

  This insight isnt there to make you feel depressed. It’s there to make you realise that life is short and that you need to make the most of life right now.

  Remember the phrase Carpe Diem, which means ‘seize the day’ in Latin.

  5. Live by Strong Principles

  When the ancient Stoics felt worry, anxiety, or went through a challenging time, they would use those moments to practice virtues. 

  For example, because I’m recovering from wrist surgery right now, Stoics would say that’s a great chance to practice self-control and patience.

  I practice self-control by staying calm, as it’s easy to get overwhelmed and upset when injured.

  I practice patience because ultimately I’ve had surgery and can’t do anything about it. My wrist surgery is done, and the outcome is beyond my control, so I won’t waste time worrying about it. All I can do is trust the surgeon and be patient.

  6. Check the Odds Before You Panic

  I think I’ve written about this before, but I used to have terrible health anxiety.

  As a kid, I used to get painful recurrent headaches until my teens.

  The headaches wouldn’t go away, so I had medical tests, and I was labelled fine by doctors. 

  I was fine, but due to my health anxiety, I thought I had a brain tumour that was going to kill me.

  I remember talking with a doctor when I was a teenager. 

  The doctor told me that my medical tests were fine and that the chances of me being sick with a brain tumour were minuscule.

  This experience taught me to be rational about my worries.

  7. Focus Outward, Not Inward

  Most of my worries come from overthinking and not being present in the moment. 

  As a rule of thumb, focusing inwards, getting tangled up in negative thought patterns, and what-if scenarios causes pain.

  But focusing outward, i.e. on hobbies, helps me become fully immersed in something else, so I lose track of time and my negative thoughts.

  This is one of the reasons I write.

  I’ll give you an analogy.

  If you have a dog, you’ll know they turn into lunatics when they can’t go for walks. So they run around the house barking.

  Yet when you take your dog for a walk and play fetch, the dog is in his element.

  We are the same when we engage in hobbies that we enjoy.

  Negative thoughts and feelings vanish.

  —

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  17th Dec 2025

  anxiety, health anxiety, neuroses, pain, worry

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• 10 Principles That Make Life Dramatically Easier

  To listen to this article, click here.

  Life is overwhelmingly complex. So it’s helpful to have rule-of-thumb heuristics to navigate it.

  The following 10 principles will make your life easier.

  1. Do Anything That Takes Two Minutes—Right Now

  Author David Allen popularised the two-minute rule in his book Getting Things Done.

  The rule says if something takes two minutes or less, do it straight away.  

  I.e., reply to quick messages and emails, and put household items away.

  This rule allows you to get all the easy, boring tasks out of the way.

  But make sure you plan time for time-consuming tasks, including writing, reading, and other work.

  This rule prevents the urgent, easy tasks from piling up.

  2. Stop Assuming People Care—Do What’s Right for You

  We’re not the centre of the universe; in fact, we’re a little speck of sand in the desert, and our lives are scarily short.

  So don’t let what people think of you stop you from pursuing your dreams and ambitions.

  Don’t let anyone stop you from getting what you want from life.

  Other people’s opinions are noise, and listening to them is unhelpful.

  Throw everyone’s opinions out of the window.

  Focus on getting what you want out of life.

  People will always have opinions. You can’t live up to everyone’s standards.

  You can live up to your own standards. 

  3. If You’re Still Breathing, You Can Keep Going

  We all face setbacks. After my wrist surgery, I felt down. Then I reminded myself: I’m alive and breathing.

  So any problem is solvable.

  To be alive means you’ve hit the jackpot.

  Think of all the people who wished they were still alive.

  Never take waking up each day for granted.

  4. Live So You Can Die With No Regrets

  When I don’t do what I say I will, I feel awful.

  I feel empty.

  This applies especially when I write, read, and practice my faith.

  I feel good when I write, read, and practice my faith. Not doing these things feels like self-torture.

  Follow your conscience.

  If there’s something you know you should be doing but aren’t.

  Do it.

  5. Find Your Why, and Every Challenge Becomes Bearable

  Viktor Frankl was a prisoner of war during the Holocaust.

  He spent almost 3 years in concentration camps.

  He could’ve given up and lost hope.

  But he didn’t.

  The thought of seeing his family kept him going.

  But unfortunately, his wife, parents and brother were all murdered during the Holocaust.

  He would spend time looking at the beautiful Forest and nature. Doing so kept him going.

  Viktor also worked as a physician in the camps, helping other sick prisoners.

  Even though he was in a dire situation.

  He still found meaning.

  Viktor wrote a book called Man’s Search for Meaning. It shows how finding meaning in your life helps you get through difficult times.

  His example shows this works.

  We can all do well by practising this advice in our lives.

  How I find meaning in my life: my why for living is:

  • Being a Christian 
  • Reading and writing
  • Spending time with family and friends
  • Walking in nature
  • Art

  What’s your why for living?

  6. Learn From the Best, Live Like the Best

  Whatever goal you have, to achieve it, take advice from people who’ve achieved what you aim to do.

  You may think, “How can I learn from the best?” My answer is to read books. Many successful people are generous in sharing their guides to success. You need to do the hard work and read.

  When you’ve got the information to succeed, put it into practice straightaway.

  You’ll make mistakes and fail. But after each mistake and failure, you’ll be better. And if you stay consistent, you’ll succeed.

  7. Improve a Little Every Day—Your Actions Shape Your Identity

  Suppose you want to be a better writer. Every day you sit down and write, you become a tiny bit better.

  But when you keep this up for days, weeks, months and years, your progress snowballs like compound interest when you invest.

  If you’re consistent for years, you’ll achieve success far beyond what you ever thought possible.

  You can either choose to be better or worse.

  8. Start Your Day With What Matters Most

  I start my day with working out and writing. Because I know if I do them at the end of the day, I’ll be tired and won’t have enough willpower to accomplish them.

  So whatever your most important task is, do it right away.

  9. If It Won’t Matter in Ten Years, Don’t Stress About It Now

  I remember when I was in school. I went out for lunch with friends to Domino’s Pizza. We all bought a pizza and left the shop.

  I was walking along, eating my pizza, when my garlic-sauce pot fell to the floor. I didn’t realise and stepped on it. Splat! Garlic Sauce exploded all over my face.

  I went back to school and took my lessons stinking of garlic. I felt stressed and embarrassed.

  This is an example of getting stressed about the little things.

  It’s not worth it.

  At the time, I was so annoyed, but looking back, I should never have been so stressed.

  Now, this garlic sauce story is funny to look back on.

  10. Compare Yourself Only to Who You Were Yesterday

  When I was into bodybuilding, I constantly compared myself to other bodybuilders. The bodybuilders were on steroids. There was zero chance I’d ever look like them.

  But I tried to get as strong as possible to build as much muscle as I could. Doing so just got me injured.

  Now I focus on being my healthiest self. I don’t care about having big muscles.

  This same mindset goes with writing. Sometimes I wish I were further along in my writing journey, like my favourite writers are. I wish I were better than I am. 

  Then I remind myself.

  “Just get better today”.

  Because if I keep doing so, I’ll eventually be the best writer I can be. And maybe I’ll be like my idols.

  –

  I share ideas that challenge how you think and help you grow — all for free.

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  11th Dec 2025

  improvement, life advice, mental-health, tips, wisdom

  ---

• 10 Things You Should Never Do in Life — Lessons Learned the Hard Way

  The following are lessons I learned the hard way. The goal of this article is to help you avoid some of the pitfalls I’ve experienced in my life so you don’t have to suffer the pain I’ve had to endure.

  1. Don’t Let Hate Takeover – Drop the Hate: Love Your Enemies Anyway

  When I was at school, there was this guy I couldn’t stand because when I was riding my bike in town, he and someone else I disliked grabbed me when I was on my bike and tried to scare me by putting some knuckle dusters or something sharp to my face ( I forget what it was, but they grabbed my neck).

  Strangely enough, a few years later, he moved to my school, saw me, and shook my hand.

  A Similar Thing Happened

  I had an ex-girlfriend who was attached to

  me despite the relationship ending.

  I was in the local pub with friends, and despite her having a new boyfriend, she still came up to see me.

  The new boyfriend didn’t like what was going on ( as I was also talking to my ex in front of her new boyfriend).

  The night came to an end, and I was walking home around midnight.

  All of a sudden, my ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend and his brother and friend drove towards me, got out of a car, and attacked me in the street.

  I had a big lump on my head the next day.

  A few years later, I met the brother of my ex-girlfriend’s partner in the gym.

  He shook my hand, and everything was hunky dory.

  The Moral Of The Story

  I hold no grudges against anyone.

  Holding grudges is spiritually corrosive and will wreak havoc on your soul.

  Nothing beneficial can come from holding grudges.

  Jesus says, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

  — Matthew 5:44

  Say it with me: I love my enemies.’

  Doesn’t that feel freeing? 

  2. Don’t Let Pride Get In The Way, Humility First: You’re Better Than No One

  A few years ago, I thought I was invincible.

  I would:

  Binge drink, lift super heavy weights, smoked on occasions.

  But then I lifted too heavy after having COVID and got an inflammatory condition in the cartilage in my chest called costochondritis.

  I went to the doctors for a scan of my chest and stomach to rule out any serious diseases.

  They didn’t find anything serious.

  But They Did Find Out I Was Only Born With One Kidney

  Oh boy, was I shocked when I found this out.

  I no longer felt invincible; I felt human.

  This realisation brought me down to earth, and I thought:

  “There’s nothing special about me”.

  Having one kidney isn’t a big deal; about 1 in 500 people are born with one kidney.

  I No Longer Make Crazy, Reckless Decisions And Now Maintain My Humility

  You and I tend to think “ nothing bad will happen to me”.

  This is arrogance in the highest sense.

  Lady Fortuna is indiscriminate.

  She aims at you and me alike.

  All you can do is patiently wait for her and stay humble in the meantime.

  The Bible says:

  “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

  — Proverbs 16:18

  Staying Humble Means Realising You And I Are Human And Have Limits

  Practice humility by:

  • Reading good books because you don’t know everything.
  • Ask for others’ opinions. You don’t always know best.
  • Understand your weaknesses.
  • Don’t look for external praise.
  • Bear in mind your limits as a human.
  • Avoid reckless behaviour.
  • Go to therapy.

  3. Don’t Let Anger Take Over – Master Your Anger Before It Masters You

  I’ve never told anyone this before, but at certain times in my life, I’ve had an awful temper.

  When one of my ex-girlfriends cheated on me, I punched a hole in my bedroom wall ( around 10 years ago).

  I’m not proud of it and deeply regret doing this.

  I’ve punched about three different walls in my life, and the concrete wall was my most formidable opponent, but all walls left me thoroughly defeated.

  The lesson: control your emotions and use healthy outlets to express them.

  I express my emotions in healthy ways now by writing, working out, and going for walks.

  I still lose my temper a bit sometimes, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be, so I’ve made no more reckless decisions like punching walls.

  4. Don’t Gamble, Gambling Isn’t a Game—Avoid the Trap

  I’ve never fallen into the addiction of gambling, but I’ve seen how it can affect people.

  One of my friends saved up around £ 1,000 for a holiday.

  He lost all this money gambling, and I believe he had to borrow money for his holiday.

  The Science Of Gambling Addiction

  When you gamble, the feeling of winning money releases dopamine ( a feel-good chemical) to your brain.

  People who are addicted to gambling are addicted to this feeling.

  All addiction follows this same vicious cycle. For example, when someone is addicted to porn or drugs, when you watch porn, dopamine is released to your brain, or when you smoke cigarettes, they give you a dopamine hit, so you come back for more (it’s the same with fast food).

  5. Never Have A One-Night Stand – Skip the One-Night Stands & Porn: Choose Depth Over Dopamine

  I’ve been in three romantic relationships in my life.

  And with all them I’ve had lust in my heart.

  Because of this, I’ve ended up getting in relationships with women who looked good but didn’t match my values at all.

  When I get into my next relationship, I want it to be 100% out of love and not lust.

  The Hollowness Of Having A One-Night Stand

  Years ago, I was on a night out in Newcastle, UK, and ended up having a one-night stand.

  It was the most pointless thing ever, and I told her I’d go on a date with her (when I never was going to).

  I felt awful and, from that day, vowed never to have another one-night stand.

  Porn Fuels Lust

  In the UK, around 51% of men watch porn frequently ( in contrast to only 15% of women).

  I have to admit I’ve been addicted to porn at certain times in my life, and it’s the most addictive thing I’ve ever encountered.

  Porn gives people the wrong idea about sex.

  Porn makes sex about lust.

  Whereas sex is really about Love.

  6. Don’t Get Drunk—Protect Your Judgment (and Your Life)

  Getting drunk has resulted in me fighting with friends.

  Getting drunk has caused me to blackout and walk across the Tyne bridge ( I think) without having any realisation of it- I’m surprised I didn’t fall off the bridge.

  Getting drunk has resulted in me being awful to people whom I love the most.

  The Remedy = Self-Control

  Self-control is one of the most essential virtues in Stoicism, akin to the virtue of temperance in Catholicism.

  The fact is, if you lose control of yourself, bad things happen.

  Drunkenness is the easiest way to diminish self-control ( especially if you black out like I have many times).

  7. Don’t Choose Looks Over Love – Attraction Isn’t Enough: Build on Shared Values

  The Swiss psychologist Carl Jung said, “A beautiful woman is a terrible thing”.

  A beautiful woman is a Trojan horse:

  In the story of Troy, the Trojans (who were in a war with the Greeks), who thought they had won the war, accepted a gift from the Greeks, which was a large wooden horse, but little did they know that a group of elite warriors were hidden in the horse. The city of Troy celebrated its victory the same night it received the Trojan horse. After the celebrations ended, the elite Greek warriors sprang from the wooden horse and ransacked the town, opened the gates to let other Greek soldiers in, and won the war.

  A beautiful woman may not always have your best interests at heart, but because she is beautiful, you let your defences down, and once they have you in the palm of their hand, they start to show their real intentions, and those intentions might not be what’s best for you.

  The same can be true when a woman encounters a handsome man.

  8. Don’t Choose Sin – Choose Virtue Over Sin Every Time

  I’ve already mentioned the virtue of self-control, which is crucial to leading the best possible lives.

  Other important virtues are:

  Courage – putting your neck on the line even when you’re scared- for the common good, to help others.

  I used to be scared to post articles and write, but now I do it no matter what, because I know that, no matter what anyone thinks of my writing, I’m here to help others.

  Justice – treating people how they deserve to be treated.

  I used to spend time with people who didn’t have my best interests at heart.

  And because they weren’t good for me, why should I give them my friendship?

  Yet if someone is good to me they deserve to be treated well.

  Honesty- don’t try to be anyone other than yourself.

  Don’t lie (apart from white lies).

  Most importantly, be honest with yourself.

  9. Avoid All Evil In Yourself – Aim for Sainthood, Not Satisfaction

  Say what you want about Christianity, but I think one of the wisest pieces of advice is a Christian truth.

  That truth is:

  ‘The goal of life is to become a saint. ’

  In essence, this means we should aim to live virtuous lives.

  The Stoics also believed in leading virtuous lives.

  You can’t go wrong practising the four aforementioned virtues, which, to repeat, are:

  • Self-control 
  • Courage 
  • Justice 
  • Honesty

  10. Don’t Waste Your Life – Never Forget: Life Is a Gift

  You and I didn’t need to be on this earth, but we are.

  Think of all the people who are sadly no longer on this earth – who wished they were.

  Every day, you and I should wake up in awe of this seemingly perfect world (the only planet with complex life in the universe we’ve found).

  But we don’t.

  And that’s why we need to make an effort to remind ourselves that everyday life is a gift.

  When I don’t keep this fact in mind, I start taking life for granted and stop making the most of every day.

  Learn from my mistakes.

  And don’t forget.

  Life is the greatest gift of all.

  I share ideas that challenge how you think and help you grow — all for free.

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  3rd Dec 2025

  get better, improvement, lessons, self improvement, wisdom

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• Why You Need to Be More Like a Sea Cucumber (Yes, Really)

  Sea cucumbers shock and attack oncoming predators by spraying out their internal organs (which can be toxic) out of their butthole.

  

  This entangles and can also injure the attacking predator, allowing the sea cucumber to escape for safety.

  The sea cucumbers’ internal organs regenerate within days and weeks.

  Nature works in mysterious ways.

  Why I’m telling you this

  You and I may not be sea cucumbers, but we are threatened in many different ways, ie spiritually, mentally and to a lesser extent, physically.

  And instead of protecting ourselves with our internal organs like the sea cucumber, we need to use our minds.

  What to remove from your life

  • Bad habits
  • People who don’t want the best for you
  • Idleness
  • Anything that is a detriment to your health
  • Sin & vices
  • Putting off your life’s mission

  Bad habits

  Avoid habits like excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, overeating and drugs. 

  These habits offer nothing to your life. To really grow, you first need to let go of what no longer serves you.

  People who don’t want the best for you

  I’m talking about people who encourage you down the wrong paths, people who put you down, and people who have no concern for wasting their own lives, so they’ll definitely have no concern for wasting yours.

  Focus on how you feel around certain people. Do you feel uplifted or drained?

  Avoid the unhappy and the unlucky, otherwise they will infect you with their unhappiness.

  Idleness

  I believe this is the most subtle yet destructive behaviour we can engage in.

  Lying around watching ‘friends’ on repeat may seem like it doesn’t cause any harm.

  But in fact it does.

  When you waste time, you never get it back; it’s gone forever.

  I know how valuable time is now, so I schedule my idleness (or laziness).

  I can be idle once I’ve achieved everything for the day, and every Sunday.

  You can’t be busy all the time.

  Anything that is a detriment to your health

  When you fail to exercise, eat healthily and get the required amount of sleep, you are slowly killing yourself.

  Eat healthily, drink enough water, work out, and sleep 8 hours every night, and your body will thank you.

  Sin & vice

  I’ve already touched upon idleness, but other sins are just as destructive, such as:

  • Lust (ie watching porn, masturbating and pointless sexual encounters).
  • Gluttony ( overeating and becoming fat).
  • Wrath ( getting angry and losing your temper). How can you control your life if you can’t control yourself?
  • Pride ( excessive love of oneself, thereby making yourself the centre of the universe; these people are the worst to be around).
  • Sloth ( idleness and being lazy).
  • Envy ( being sad because others are prospering).
  • Greed ( an excessive desire for money, wealth and other material things. You never have enough).

  Putting off your life’s mission

  Only when you let go of everything that doesn’t serve you do you open up a narrow space to pursue your unique mission in life.

  Part of the battle is just making way for that space for you to grow.

  I would say that’s the most challenging part.

  The sea cucumber releases a seemingly essential but also unnecessary part of itself to protect its future self

  You need to do the same.

  How I practice this advice

  I was addicted to pride and had to let it go to protect my future self. Here was how it manifested.

  I was addicted to bodybuilding and lifting weights. I wanted to be the most muscle-bound person I could be, so I lifted ultra-heavy weights, so much so that I injured my right wrist, which has resulted in me having to undergo two separate wrist surgeries. To protect my future self, I’ve had to part ways with this unhealthy bodybuilding obsession.

  How I practice this advice 2.

  As a teen growing up with the internet, I was addicted to porn.

  This unhealthy obsession was getting in the way of romantic relationships and was wasting a lot of time. I had to part ways with porn to protect my future self.

  The bottom line

  Like a sea cucumber that ejects what it doesn’t need to survive and regenerate, we must let go of harmful habits, toxic people, and distractions to protect and grow our future selves.

  I share ideas that challenge how you think and help you grow — all for free.

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  26th Nov 2025

  Christianity, Health, improvement, self improvement, wisdom

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• Two Wrist Surgeries in a Year: Lessons from Chronic Pain, Recovery, and Resilience

  

  I’ve had wrist surgery for the second time in less than a year.

  Altogether, I’ve had wrist pain on and off for the past couple of years.

  It all started with me doing weighted pull-ups at the gym a couple of years ago, after I returned to training following a layoff.

  When I performed these weighted pull-ups, I felt a severe pull in my wrist during the descent part of the rep.

  I got my first wrist surgery

  After a year of chronic pain, an orthopaedic surgeon said I needed wrist surgery.

  I had the surgery, and the surgeon found out I had a dorsal capsular tear of my triangular fibrocartilage complex ( the cartilage that connects the head of your ulna bone to your hand and wrist).

  After I had this surgery, everything seemed to go swimmingly until around 7 months after my surgery, when I pulled open my car door a bit more forcefully than I was used to.

  I started to feel pain again, even though I was told that pulling my car door should never have caused any problems ( although I pulled slightly more forcefully than usual).

  As a side note, my surgery was in December 2024, and the new pain started in June 2025.

  I needed a second surgery

  Because my wrist pain and instability had returned, another surgeon evaluated me and explained that the first surgery had repaired the main injury, but my TFCC—essentially the wrist cartilage—had slightly detached from the ulna bone, potentially as a result of the initial injury.

  Yesterday I had my second wrist surgery ( both surgeries were on my right wrist).

  The surgeon explained that the operation succeeded and that my entire wrist is now fixed. I just need to wait for it to recover and heal.

  The past two years have been testing. Here is what I’ve learned:

  • Don’t do weighted pull-ups; instead, do the lat pull-down with a low weight and perfect form.
  • Even though you may be going through pain because of an injury or illness, try to keep your life as normal as possible – otherwise, like me after my first wrist surgery, you may experience feelings of depression and isolation ( if idleness creeps in, stay busy- the devil makes work of idle hands). Realise that what you’re going through won’t last forever.
  • Don’t stop writing ( I know I only have one hand I can use while my right wrist recovers and can’t use a computer or keyboard, but I can use my phone to write like I am now on Apple Notes).
  • Continue attending church on weekends and spend time with friends and family.
  • Keep reading. Reading helps me experience such tranquillity.
  • Do what you can as best you can. I have been severely limited over the past couple of years due to my injury, but I don’t use that as an excuse. I’ve continued to be productive at work and as a writer.
  • An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If you’re not injured or sick now, try your best to keep it that way.
  • Listen to music – this is one of the quickest ways to improve your mood.

  The bottom line

  If you’ve suffered chronic pain or prolonged illness, I’m sure this post will resonate with you. If you’re currently going through chronic pain, I hope my story inspires and helps you. Lastly, if you’ve never dealt with chronic pain or illness, I pray you never will, and hopefully, some of the advice in this post helps.

  As a side note, if you’re in pain, consult a medical professional. Persevere, I promise it’s worth it.

  We should treat good health as divine and never take it for granted.

  Your health is good until it’s not.

  I share ideas that challenge how you think and help you grow — all for free.

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  19th Nov 2025

  mental-health, my experience, resilience, wrist injury, wrist surgery

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• The Danger of the Mob: Lessons from Peer Pressure, Chaos, and Human Nature

  Have you ever been in a group where you’ve done or seen something you would have never expected?

  Many of my worst moments occurred when I got caught up in the group’s madness.

  My first time drunk

  I was at a friend’s house with two other close friends at the time (around 11 years ago, when I was 16).

  My friends were a couple of years older than I, and we had a free house for the night as my friends’ parents were away.

  My friend invited a group of people to the house

  I didn’t know these people very well, but they were my friends’ friends, and they brought a large bottle of Smirnoff vodka with them.

  Everyone had a shot of vodka, and then all of a sudden, my friend and I just kept on being given shots of it (there was peer pressure, and everyone was encouraging us to continue drinking these shots).

  After a few shots, I blacked out.

  The next thing I remember, I was vomiting in my parents’ house ( apparently, I fell over as well).

  I was in an awful state, and from what I can remember, the paramedics were called to come and see me.

  The madness of the group came above the health of its members

  And from that point on, I knew of the madness of the group. I never made the same mistake again.

  It was a learning curve to realise that people you would call friends may not always have your best interests at heart when caught up in the emotions of the group.

  The madness of the gladiatorial games

  

  I visited Rome in April and went to the Colosseum, where I learned about what really happened there.

  Romans executed Christian martyrs, sent gladiators to their deaths, and slaughtered thousands of animals to thrill the mob.

  Human nature is full of evil and vice; that’s why we must work towards virtue, as the Stoics and Christians have done. When we’re in a group, this evil and vice can compound if we don’t discipline our character

  We have two choices :

  1. Hang around with the timid masses who never know victory nor defeat. The uninspiring, undisciplined masses change their moods like the weather and follow the crowd without ever thinking for themselves.
  2. Choose friends who are virtuous and who don’t unthinkingly do whatever the crowd is doing; ruthlessly discipline ourselves to be freethinkers, always with virtue in mind.

  Above all, remember this:

  Don’t get caught up in the emotions of the crowd.

  You have your own mind, use it.

  No one can force you to behave in a way contrary to virtue and your nature.

  One time at St James’ Park

  Years ago, I was at Newcastle United’s stadium (St James’ Park) watching the football match between Newcastle United and Sunderland.

  It’s a local derby (or grudge match), and the tensions were high all day.

  Sunderland beat Newcastle 3-0, sparking uproar throughout the city of Newcastle.

  One man punched a police horse.

  

  Crowds of people smashed up Newcastle; they set bins on fire, and glass bottles shattered all around me.

  This one poor taxi driver was being rocked back and forth by twenty angry supporters pushing his car from side to side near Central Station ( the main train station in Newcastle).

  All of this madness because of a defeat in a football match.

  Madness is in human nature, and it has the potential to cause havoc in a group.

  Never get consumed by the madness of the group.

  I was inspired to write this article by Seneca’s quote: 

  “ Certainly, the greater the mob with which we mingle, the greater the danger.”

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  13th Nov 2025

  freethinker, mob mentality, Newcastle, seneca, stoicism

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• The Best Revenge Is Not to Be Like That — How Forgiveness Frees the Soul

  Hated someone so much you’ve been angry for days? If you have, I’m not the only one.

  Revenge is ugly but common. 

  If someone wrongs you, it’s natural to want justice.

  Justice is a virtue that everyone should pursue, but revenge is when justice oversteps the mark.

  Justice means holding the other person responsible for their actions so they fairly receive repercussions, while rehabilitating that person (so the offender doesn’t repeat their mistakes).

  The perfect example of justice comes from the Bible:

  “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’

  But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”

  Matthew 5:38–39 Bible: New International Version (NIV)

  Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean letting others harm you endlessly; it means breaking the cycle of revenge.

  When we break the cycle of revenge, it’s easier to be objective and work towards justice.

  Seeking revenge clouds our judgment and stops us from seeing things clearly and fairly.

  An Example When I Let Revenge Get The Best Of Me

  I was driving into my local supermarket car park to do some shopping, and a male driver pulled out in front of me, almost causing a collision.

  I was furious at him, inciting every curse word under the sun.

  I couldn’t let go of how he almost crashed into me, which made me lose focus on what I was doing ( parking).

  Due to my loss of focus, I accidentally reversed into a stationary car while parking.

  Then it hit me, “Why was I so preoccupied with how the driver wronged me, and why was I still angry?”.

  Suddenly, I couldn’t stop thinking about what the Bible says about turning the other cheek.

  If I had turned the other cheek and forgiven the driver, I would have been able to focus on parking my car without crashing.

  Because I was angry and sought revenge, I became the same monster I was raging at.

  Luckily, I didn’t cause any damage to the car I bumped.

  The lesson: don’t let revenge take hold of you, otherwise you become the monster yourself.

  When someone does evil to us, we shouldn’t respond with evil.

  Forgiveness is the only antidote for revenge.

  Jesus Is The Perfect Example Of How To Live A Revenge-free Life

  Jesus sought the good of humanity; through his words and actions, he demonstrated this.

  Jesus knew people would kill him for what he believed, but he didn’t let that stop him from spreading God’s word and doing good.

  Jesus taught us to forgive and to love others as we love ourselves, and he lived out those teachings until his last breath on the cross.

  Some of Jesus’ final words were: “Father, forgive them; they do not know what they are doing.”

  Jesus had every reason to hate and seek revenge against his Roman persecutors.

  But he didn’t harbour hatred or seek revenge; instead, he forgave them. 

  By doing so, he reached peace ( a taste of the eternal life to come).

  Practising forgiveness is the surest path to heaven on earth.

  We can’t gain tranquillity by holding onto grudges or seeking to harm others.

  Forgiveness frees us from the heavy chains of revenge and hatred.

  The bottom line 👉

  I’ve felt my worst when I’ve been full of hatred and revenge. We free ourselves from hatred and revenge by practising forgiveness. I’ve tried forgiveness, and it cleanses the soul, freeing up energy to direct towards improving ourselves and helping others.

  This article was inspired by the quote “The best revenge is not to be like that” by Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius

  I share ideas that challenge how you think and help you grow — all for free.

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  6th Nov 2025

  forgiveness, improvement, inspiration, Jesus, stoicism

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