Hello friend, I recently wrote an answer to a Quora question.
And the answer did well, so I thought I would share it here.
Here is the exact breakdown of my Quora answer to the question:
What is the best piece of advice you could give someone about life?
“Life is about execution rather than purpose.” – Nassim Taleb. (The picture is of Nassim).
I know I’m writing this post, and you’re reading it, but this isn’t how you truly learn. You learn by doing, by trial and error. But we live in a world where we read and watch videos far more than we do.
Doing shouldn’t supplement reading; reading should supplement doing.
So go out in the world, try different jobs, try different experiences and even write about them to learn more about how they made you feel and how they did or didn’t help you. I use writing as a tool for self-exploration.
If I didn’t try writing, I would have never found my passion
I love writing, and it’s something I will do for the rest of my life, no matter what occupation I’m in. I just love the flow state writing puts me in, and I love how I can help an unlimited number of people from a single post I write.
I was also curious about religion, so I spoke to a priest and started practising Catholicism, and now I’m fully Catholic. And it’s had an amazing impact on my life; it now feels full of meaning and has structure and order to it, but if I had never gone and spoken to the priest, I would have never experienced the benefits like I am now.
I’ve followed this advice with the jobs I’ve had
I’ve been a pot washer at KFC, a volunteer policeman, a pizza delivery man and even worked in financial services. Each experience has taught me about what I do and don’t like in the world of work.
We don’t gain wisdom by doing nothing; we gain it from making mistakes and learning from them. Sometimes I look back at myself from 10 years ago, and I think to myself, “wow, I was such an idiot”, and you might think it’s bad and negative that I talk to myself like that, but I don’t see it that way. I see it as a clear sign I’ve grown.
My worst fear
I don’t want to be the guy who never does or experiences anything new in life and is still stuck in the dead-end job that he was in in his early 20s. We can learn just as much from people we don’t want to be like as from the people we do want to be like.
Another quote from Nassim Taleb that I love
“It is not possible to have fun when you try.”
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Hello friend, I recently wrote a post to a Quora question.
And the answer did well, so I thought I would share it here.
Here is the exact breakdown of my Quora answer to the question:
What are the best travel hacks?
1. Plan the main attractions you want to visit beforehand.
When I went to Rome, I made sure to book a guided tour to see the Colosseum. This was a great decision because it was much easier to organise through the travel agents than to book it when I was in Rome. I didn’t have to think about it when I was there. I just showed up and explored the Colosseum. Unfortunately, I made a mistake by not booking the Vatican trip. Which meant I had to pay over the odds to go there.
2. Make time for spontaneity.
When I travel, I like to make time for spontaneity. I like to explore the places I’m in just like a local would. It’s good to have planned destinations you will see, but remember to make time for the unexpected.
3. Go to places you’re interested in and not places where you think you’re supposed to go.
This might seem obvious, but the fact is that many of us visit places simply because other people do. When you go somewhere, do it because it’s somewhere you actually want to go.
4. Follow your curiosities when you’re there.
Several years ago, when I visited Bath, I went to the Roman Baths with my girlfriend at the time, and she walked past everything I wanted to see, which was frustrating because I couldn’t take it all in. But when I went to Rome alone, I took everything in, and it was much better.
5. Pack in advance.
Don’t leave your packing to the last minute.
6. Get up early.
Make the most of your day wherever you are.
7. You can take pictures, but not too many.
Don’t be so busy taking pictures that you forget to take it all in.
Here are some pictures of the Colosseum I took. I was in awe while taking these. It was awesome.
Remember: the most important travel hack is to just book the damn holiday. Many of us say we will do all sorts of things, but never do. As Nike says, JUST DO IT.
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Hello friend, I recently wrote a post to a Quora question.
And the answer did well, so I thought I would share it here.
Here is the exact breakdown of my Quora answer to the question:
What’s something you recently learned that shocked you?
THE MOMENT I REALISED I WAS MISSING AN ORGAN
Although not recently, I’m still quite shocked and surprised when I think about a specific moment in my life.
This is my story
In 2022, I started lifting heavy weights too soon after I had Covid, and I got a condition called Costochondritis that lasted several weeks (Costochondritis means having inflammation around the cartilage surrounding your ribs).
I complained to the doctor about the rib and chest pain I was getting, so he ordered me a chest and stomach ultrasound for further investigation to see what was happening.
So I had an appointment booked, and I went to it, but upon having the ultrasound, the radiographer finished, and she told me everything was fine, but there was one thing she had to tell me.
She said they could only see one kidney.
And I thought to myself, with my rudimentary understanding of physiology and anatomy, that this was not normal and that most people are born with two kidneys.
The aftermath
Upon finding out the news, I went pale as if I’d seen a ghost. I was completely shocked, but then the radiographer told me not to worry and that I was in very good health (upon seeing my blood and urine tests) because, apparently, you can live healthily and live a normal life span with one kidney.
I then spoke to my general practitioner, and he mentioned that the ultrasound detected that I was born with one kidney, as previously mentioned and told me that my kidney has adapted to do the work of two kidneys because my health markers and my blood tests came back as if I had two kidneys.
I was never the same after hearing this news
Although my health is fine, it really made me think that you never truly know what is going on in your body. I mean, I’m missing an organ.
So I’ve learned to treat my body very carefully because people are too quick to neglect their bodies without even truly understanding what is going on in them.
Being born with one kidney is called Renal agenesis, and about 1/1000 babies are born with it
Apparently, many people are walking around with only one kidney without even knowing it. And to be honest, if you live a healthy life, then you probably don’t even need to know, but I was just very shocked after hearing this news. More shocked than after any other time in my life, but at least I know.
Treat your body like a temple, and you can’t go wrong
I’ve learnt that none of us has perfect health and we never will, it’s completely out of our control as it’s not up to us what bodies we are born into. We can’t choose the best parts like we would when building a car.
But we have full control over how we treat our bodies. Treat your body well, and you will be doing everything in your power to stay in good health. Having good health is underrated. Investing in your health is the best investment you can make, more so than obtaining all the gold in the world.
I want to drive home the point that you never truly know what’s going on in your body, so treat it well.
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Hello friend, I wrote a post on Quora regarding 5 tips for solo travellers.
And the post did well it got 5100 views, 45 upvotes and 1 share.
Because it did well I thought I’d share it in this blog post.
Here is the exact breakdown I shared that resonated with thousands of people to the question:
“What is some good advice and tips for travelling alone?”
Last year, I went on my first ever solo trip when I travelled to Rome. The picture below is of me from my solo holiday.
Here are five pieces of advice that I learnt from travelling to Rome solo.
1. Don’t overthink it and book the trip
It doesn’t matter what tips I give you because you won’t learn anything just by reading this post. You’ll only learn by travelling, just like I did. We only truly learn by doing.
2. Plan the main trips before you go
Before I travelled to Rome, I booked a guided tour around the Colosseum, which was definitely a good move to make, but I also got myself in a pickle. Because when I was in Rome, I realised that I wanted to go on a guided tour around the Vatican and the Sistine Chapel, so when I was there, I paid over the odds to get a special tour around the Vatican. If I were to do this again, I would pre-book the Vatican trip beforehand so I wouldn’t have to pay over the odds.
3. Bring the correct adapter to charge your phone
When I got to Rome, I quickly realised I had brought the wrong adapter to charge my phone. So the morning after I arrived in Rome, my phone was almost out of juice, so I had to go and walk the streets of Rome to try and find a technology store that sold British plug adapters for my phone charger. Doing this was very stressful because I couldn’t speak hardly any Italian, but eventually, I luckily found a shop that sold adapters, and I was able to charge my phone.
4. Plan out all the places you want to go
I knew when I travelled to Rome that the main sites I wanted to see were the Pantheon, the Vatican, the Colosseum, and the Marcus Aurelius statue in the Palatine Hill museum. And I managed to see everything, I left no stone unturned, but now that I’ve become Catholic, I’ve realised that there are many basilicas/churches that I want to go and see next time I’m there.
5. Make time for spontaneity and for exploring
It’s wonderful to see all of the sights when you travel, but it’s also very important to make an adventure out of wherever you go. Walk down some funky neighbourhood, get talking to locals, go into some restaurants that the locals dine in, or drink the coffee that the locals drink.
Bonus tip
Realise that you will have some bad holidays, but don’t let that stop you from going away. You need to buy a ticket to win the raffle, and when you travel, it’s a bit like buying a lottery ticket because you’ll never truly know if you like a place until you’re there.
I read a quote saying “A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”
Even if you have a terrible time when you’re away travelling, at least you’ll have a story to tell (or write about), and you will almost certainly learn something from the experience.
Remember, life is an adventure, and never lose that sense of adventure. You don’t need to travel to the other side of the world; you can explore your own country and keep the spirit of adventure alive within you.
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Hello friend, I wrote a post on Quora regarding my thoughts on travelling and the importance of it.
The post did well, getting 2700 views, 85 upvotes, and 1 share.
So I thought I’d share the answer here to improve this post.
Here is the exact breakdown I shared that resonated with thousands of people to the question:
“Why is travelling so important in life?”
Honestly, it isn’t that important.
For example, I see so many posts and videos on social media from people who say they’re travelling to ‘find themselves’.
I think this is a load of baloney.
You can’t find yourself when you’re travelling, any more than when you’re at home, taking a walk around your local neighbourhood, because wherever we go, we carry ourselves, so if we don’t feel good in ourselves at home, we won’t feel good abroad either.
My experience travelling
I’ve been on holiday to London, Turkey, Rome, the French and Austrian Alps, the Canary Islands, the Republic of Ireland and Scotland.
And yes, I did enjoy going to these places, but I never expected them to make me happy. Because only I can do that, and it is within my power and not dependent on my geographical location.
I see travelling a bit like tasting new foods; the novelty can be pleasant at first, but becomes boring after a while.
If you are going to travel, do it because you’re genuinely interested in the places you’re going
I feel like many of us travel abroad simply because other people do. Instead of following the crowd, pick some places you’re genuinely interested in so that when you’re there, you can explore them fully.
For example, Rome was a bucket list destination for me. I wasn’t really bothered about going anywhere else (I’m very interested in the ancient Romans), and when I got there, it was even better than I thought it was going to be. I learned so much more about the Romans when I was there.
On the other hand, I saw many posts and videos on YouTube saying that Rome was horrible and dirty. I quickly understood that these people making the videos were philistines and had no appreciation for art, history and culture.
When I was in Rome, the dirtiness that is commonplace in any large city didn’t bother me at all.
Instead of travelling abroad, my new plan is to gain a deep understanding and love for my own culture before I go jetsetting
There’s no two ways about it, you don’t have to go to the other end of the world to have a good time, try going once a week on a day trip in your own country and try and gain a deep understanding, love and appreciation for what is already at your fingertips.
By doing this, you save money and time, and you’ll meet people who can speak your language.
Wanderlust is a lie
To be everywhere is to be nowhere, so gain a deep understanding, love and appreciation for your own culture before exploring every nook and cranny of the world. I’ve learned from travelling that everywhere is the same but slightly different. And a lot of the time, the places being slightly different doesn’t mean slightly better.
The bottom line
I recommend that everyone travel to places they’re genuinely interested in and curious about, but don’t expect travelling to make you happy or change you as a person; you’ll still be the same person in a different geographical location. Try to become so happy in yourself that it doesn’t matter where you are in the world, you’ll always be at peace.
The picture at the beginning was from my time in Vatican City, Rome.
One last final thought
Ever been away on holiday for a week or more, and you’re looking forward to coming home? Well, I have, and this is a good sign. It’s a much worse sign when your life is so unbearable that you want to stay in a foreign country to escape it.
Make your life so good that it feels like its own holiday. Don’t become a pawn in someone else’s plan. Your life can become whatever you make it; you’re in the driving seat.
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Hello friend, I wrote a Quora answer that did very well, amassing 609 views, 12 upvotes, 7 comments, and 1 share.
The Quora answer was regarding the following question:
Why do older men date younger women?
Here is the exact breakdown I shared that resonated with so many people:
I would say that the main reason is because as men grow older, they’re still able to have children, whereas the older women get the less they can procreate, hence why women go through the menopause.
I think from a biological point of view, men’s bodies are just more resilient and have a window almost up to the point they die to have kids.
For example, legendary actor Robert Deniro had a baby with his girlfriend, Tiffany Chen, at the ripe age of 79. And Tiffany Chen, Roberts ‘ girlfriend, was 46 at the time.
Love isn’t always defined by how old you are
I know it’s easy to say, so and so is only getting in a relationship with that older guy for his money, and yes, in some cases, this may be true, but if two people are consenting adults and they love each other, what really is the problem?
I couldn’t care less if an older man dated a younger woman as long as they are both of legal age.
Sometimes, younger women want a well-established man
Some men never make the jump from boy to man, and so when a woman finds a real man with good character and who has proved this fact over the years, then it’s a safe choice for her to pursue him romantically.
In this age, when people are turning away from old-school traditional values and religion, a lot of men are losing sight of what it means to be a good man rather than a boy. They never learned how to become a true gentleman, and religion (Catholicism) offers, in my opinion, the best advice on how men can really be men.
Some women have dated men their age or younger and had no luck
When I’ve been on the dating app Hinge, I’ve come across many women saying in their bios that they want “a man with a plan”, and the truth is many men don’t even know who they are, never mind have a plan. The older a man gets, the more likely he is to stumble upon who he truly is and have a plan for his life. And women seem to love this, from my experience.
Because of the fountain of youth
Let’s face it, one of the main reasons older men date younger women is because of their looks; their skin is less saggy and more plump. The fountain of youth gives us beauty in its truest sense for a period of time, and then it never returns. It’s really no surprise that some men are into younger women for this reason.
Even though the woman may be younger than the man, if she’s a good person and so is he, and they want to build a beautiful life together, it doesn’t matter
My grandpa was 10 years older than my grandma, and he loved her with all of his heart. She died unexpectedly of cancer in her 50s.
Age is just a number to some extent, and if you get on well with someone, then age doesn’t really matter.
Closing thoughts
I’m 27 years old, and I would date a younger woman only if we got on well and had a similar worldview. But some women date younger men, and it really doesn’t matter. What is most important is to be young at heart.
“Don’t you know that it’s worth every treasure on earth
To be young at heart
For as rich as you are, it’s much better by far
To be young at heart.”
– Frank Sinatra
My opinion
I do find it slightly crazy that Robert De Niro had a child at his age, but who am I to judge? He seems happy in the picture at the start of this post and can clearly afford it. Kudos to him. But the only concern is that his daughter may not get to know him very well.
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Hello friend, I recently wrote a Quora answer to the question:
What is the greatest single image in movie history?
The answer did very well, amassing over 27,000 views, getting 273 upvotes, and 4 shares. It proved so helpful; I thought I’d share it in this post.
Here is the exact breakdown I shared that resonated with thousands of people:
The scene at the end of the film A Man for All Seasons, when Saint Thomas More is about to be beheaded.
If you don’t know the story of Saint Thomas More, he was the chancellor of England during Henry the Eighth’s reign, but because Henry’s wife Catherine of Aragon didn’t bear him a male heir (to be future ruler) he wanted a divorce, and Saint Thomas More did not give his approval for him to divorce because it was against the teachings of the Catholic church and thus against what he believed in.
Henry the Eighth tried to convince Saint Thomas More to give him his approval regarding Henry marrying Anne Boleyn, but he never did. This brought about the church of England, where King Henry wanted to be recognised as the supreme ruler of the Church of England.
Thomas would not approve of King Henry marrying Anne Boleyn, nor did Thomas see Henry as the head of the church. And it ultimately cost Saint Thomas More his life because Henry the Eighth had him beheaded on charges of treason based on false testimony by Richard Rich.
Richard Rich told lies that Thomas spoke against King Henry’s supremacy as ruler, which was the final nail in the coffin of Thomas’s beheading. Richard Rich became the attorney general of Wales for telling this lie. He really did gain Wales, but sold his soul by doing so.
In the picture at the start of this post comes at the end of the film, where Thomas forgives his executioner for what he’s about to do (behead him), then Thomas makes the sign of the cross, and the executioner does his deed.
What we can learn from Saint Thomas More
I’ve only recently learned about Saint Thomas ever since my local parish priest told me to watch A Man for All Seasons. And he’s quickly become one of my heroes. What I admire about Thomas is that he had values that he stood for that were steeped in the Catholic faith, and he had the courage to stick to those values even though it cost him his life.
If you watch the film, you’ll notice that Thomas had many chances to bow down to King Henry, but he knew that doing so would have gained him the world, but he would have lost his soul.
Saint Thomas was willing to die before he would sell his soul.
What values are you willing to die for?
Final thoughts
Final thoughts
What I admired most about Saint Thomas was his ability to stick to his guns when he had every reason not to. He was a stubborn man, and he stuck to his guns till the very end. Humans are very fickle, so when I first heard about Saint Thomas’ story, it made me realise “yes, humans are fickle, but we don’t need to be, we can stand for something if we choose to.”
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Hello friend, I wanted to write this post because I wrote a Quora answer to the question:
Is it okay to stay single the rest of your life?
And my answer did very well, it got 29 upvotes, 2200 views, and one share, and I think it carries an important message.
Because so many of us see being single as a curse and something to avoid at all costs, but in fact, staying single is fine if you are unable to meet the right spouse.
Because it’s better to be single than with the wrong person.
Here is the exact breakdown I shared that resonated with thousands of people:
Yes, it’s absolutely okay to stay single for the rest of your life.
Many people choose to.
My grandpa sadly lost my grandma, then was alone for 20 years. He never had another partner.
Then some people never find the right person, so they’re single because they simply haven’t stumbled upon the right partner.
For me, as a single 27-year-old who has had 3 very difficult relationships and thus breakups so far in my life, I can absolutely see why a lot of people stay single.
Because it’s much better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. I personally wish I had never been in the past 3 relationships, but I guess I did learn a lot from them.
Around 50% of marriages end in divorce
This is a slightly terrifying statistic because we never think that out of all those happy couples we sometimes get jealous of, around 50% end in divorce anyway.
So don’t be tricked by appearances; they only give you a perspective, not the truth.
I know someone who has never settled down with a woman, and he always seems happy and full of spirit (he’s in his 50s now).
He’s dated people but never found the right person, and that’s fair enough. What else could he have done, lie and married someone he’s not into?
I’ve felt much happier being single than I have in the 3 relationships I’ve had
When you’re single, you can do what you want when you want. You have freedom, more money and essentially your only restriction is you.
Whereas when you’re in a relationship with someone who you know is not right for you, it’s completely draining, you’re essentially living a lie, a facade, and eventually the truth will come out, and the relationship will end, just like I’ve experienced in the relationships I’ve had.
What I’ve learned from Catholic priests and deacons
I’ve met several priests and deacons, as I’m Catholic, and none of them is married (or in a romantic relationship) apart from deacons who marry before they become deacons.
And these priests and deacons seem like some of the happiest and most jolly people I’ve ever met in my life.
So if they can live a happy life without a partner, so can I. But I will certainly always be receptive to any woman I do potentially see a future with. Because ultimately, I do want to get married and have kids when I stumble upon the right person. But I’ve definitely found peace with being single.
Man up, being single isn’t that bad, it can be as good as you want it to be
I used to feel bad for being single, like it was a place where all the losers go to rot. Now I see being single as a blessing. And I’m quite happy to be single until I stumble upon the right woman.
Being single forces you to get out of the house and stay busy, and if you embrace the single life, it can be one of immense joy, but I’ve learned that the most important thing is to stay busy.
As a single person, you must stay busy if you want to be happy
I’ve learned that if you want to be happy as a single person, you need to be run off your feet. Because when I’ve been lazy and done nothing but sit on my big bum, I’ve then tended to overthink and start feeling melancholic.
But I’ve learnt that if I stay busy with my hobbies, I will be too busy to feel melancholic (or at least to any severe degree).
I stay busy by doing the following:
Reading.
Writing.
Going on walks.
Working out.
Going to church.
Seeing friends and family.
Cooking.
Cleaning.
Listening to music.
Remember, there’s nothing wrong with being single. It’s much better to be single than to settle for someone you’re not happy with.
Are you getting into a relationship out of neediness?
I’ve learned that intentionality is so important when choosing a partner. Remember that the person you spend the rest of your life with is not someone you should decide on in haste. Your partner should be someone you choose with intention, and they must meet the standards you set. My mistake in the past is that I’ve only got into relationships with anyone who will have me.
I hope this helps.
God bless.
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When you come across mental health advice these days, it’s common to see advice peddled such as do box breathing, start meditation, or write down five things you’re grateful for every day, and yes, these methods can have their place, but I’ve found the best antidote for feelings of melancholy is to do one thing, and it’s very simple:
Stay busy.
Try getting up early, going to the gym, working a full day, and filling your leisure time with projects (like writing projects)/ time with friends and family, and tell me if you feel depressed.
I promise you won’t feel depressed at all.
You see, humans are meant to engage with the world.
We’re not meant to be lazy couch potatoes.
The busier you are, the more you’re in a flow state
As of writing this post, I’m in a flow state. I’m completely focused on writing and am thus fully immersed in the present moment.
When we’re fully immersed in the present moment, it’s impossible to feel depressed or anxious.
When we stay busy with things we enjoy, we open ourselves up to experiencing a flow state.
Activities that help me get into a flow state
As I’ve already mentioned, writing helps me get into a flow state, so does reading, working out, listening to music, going on walks, skiing, spending time with friends and family, having good conversations and watching a good TV series or film.
I recommend you get involved in flow states that help others, and also help you make money
I love writing because when I write something helpful, others benefit, and it makes me feel good. I can also get paid for it by writing books, etc.
If writing isn’t your thing, then maybe make videos. The key is to choose a medium you enjoy.
Don’t forget to look after your health to rid feelings of melancholy
I had wrist surgery twice in the space of a year, and it’s safe to say that that was the most mentally challenging period of my life. I had chronic wrist pain, and there was nothing I could do about it.
If you focus on being healthy, i.e., don’t get injured (or minimise the risk as much as possible), make sure you eat healthily and are at a healthy body weight and exercise, you’ll instantly feel better in yourself compared to if you were unhealthy.
The body and the mind are inseparable. When we look after our bodies, our minds benefit.
Get good sleep and have a consistent sleeping pattern
I started feeling so much better mentally when I sorted my sleeping pattern out, and here’s how I did it:
The main reason I find it so easy to get up early and go to bed early now is that I make sure I eat all my meals for the day by 6-7pm.
This was a game-changer for me because I always used to eat really late at night, sometimes past 9pm. It affected my sleep because my body was still digesting food, and I felt bloated when I went to bed.
This tip isn’t spoken about much, but it really helps me. Try eating earlier, and I bet you’ll find it easier to sleep at night.
When I looked into the science behind why this works, I learned that it’s best to align our eating patterns with our circadian rhythm.
What this means is that you eat your meals from when the sun comes up to when it goes down because in hunter-gatherer times we would have only been awake when it was light and we would have slept when it was dark. Because there wouldn’t have been all the artificial lighting that there is today.
It’s amazing how much better you feel physically and mentally when you get your sleeping pattern in order.
Stay busy by going to church
I’m in the process of becoming Catholic, and following the Catholic faith has helped me feel so much better about myself than I ever thought possible.
I no longer hold onto grudges, and I’m much more forgiving.
I try to serve God and others more.
I love the peace I feel when I go to church mass.
I also love the discipline that daily prayer gives me.
The other week, I went to my first Catholic confession, and I felt better instantly
We, humans, have a tendency to hang on to the past. I know I did. Sometimes I would get thoughts pop into my mind, like, ‘Why did you do that, you idiot,’ or I’d feel guilt for some of the times I hadn’t lived up to my own standards (we all make mistakes, we’re not perfect).
When I went to confession, I repented my sins, and upon leaving the confession booth, I felt like a giant weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I carried this weight for years, and now I’d finally let go. My life now feels like a clean slate.
Catholicism has changed my life for the better. I recommend that everyone at least explore Catholicism. I’ve never felt as good in my life as I do now, and it’s because I’m a practising Catholic.
Do this now
Anytime you feel even the slightest bit melancholic, go and do something, such as going for a walk, going to the gym, reading a book, or doing some chores in the house. Whatever it is, go and do something productive that benefits you.
Recently, I noticed that on some evenings I was getting in my head too much, and it was making me feel down, so I’ve started going to weekly Catholic masses, and going to them makes me feel much better in myself.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, but the devil makes good use of idle hands, and if you don’t be intentional with your time and do things that benefit you, the devil will use you for his purposes, so to speak, and vices and sin will creep into your life.
When have you been the happiest in your life?
For me, it’s when I’m so immersed in different activities that I stop thinking about myself. And I’ve found it’s almost impossible to be happy when you’re self-conscious. So I try to be so busy that I’m run off my feet. Of course, I give myself time to relax, but even then, I’m active with things such as going on a relaxing stroll or getting lost in a book.
Everyone is so focused on themselves these days, it’s hard not to be depressed. Because depression only ceases when you look outside yourself. But the mind caves in on itself when it becomes too self-focused.
Anyway, this is just what helps me.
But what do I know?
God bless.
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The Ancient statesman Seneca, who was a mentor to Emperor Nero (before Nero went crazy), was one of the wealthiest and most erudite men in Rome. Seneca is probably my favourite philosopher to read. Out of all the books I’ve read, his Letters From a Stoic is one of the most wisdom-laden texts I’ve ever come across.
Here’s what Seneca said about how people who are busy don’t fall victim to depression or melancholy.
And I paraphrase:
In ancient Rome, when soldiers would become undisciplined and disorderly, they were sent on mounted expeditions so that they could refocus their minds and gain a sense of order back in their lives.
Seneca also wrote:
“People who are really busy never have enough time to become skittish.”
And I agree with him. I feel the best when I’m busy with things I enjoy, but it’s when I’m idle and inactive that the inner demons in my mind begin to fester.
Yesterday I was busy all day. I read, wrote, went to church, went shopping and went for a walk. But towards the end of the night, I got a feeling of melancholy. So I decided to get up and do something productive to distract myself from these undesirable feelings.
So I decided to do some much-needed spring cleaning. I cleaned my whole house top to bottom and filled up four bin bags with useless items I haven’t used in years (and put them in the trash). And in doing so, I felt amazing, and I still do.
In the past, I’d try to subdue my feelings in a futile manner by doomscrolling on TikTok or YouTube. Now I know that when I get these feelings of melancholy, I need to stay busy by doing things such as:
Cleaning my house.
Reading and writing.
Going on walks.
Working out.
Cook a nice homemade meal.
Call a friend or family member.
Go for a walk in nature.
You see, if you stay busy doing things that benefit you, you’ll have no reason to feel melancholy.
If you start to feel even a bit anxious or irritable, go and do something
This is my go-to strategy to protect my mental health. And I can’t think of a single occasion when it’s let me down.
The reason this is so effective is that most of the feelings of melancholy, anxiety, and depression are caused by overthinking and result in the mind caving in on itself, so to speak. But when we become immersed in activities that benefit us, we remove all temptation to indulge melancholic thoughts and feelings. Essentially, we’re able to subdue them in a healthy way. And if you practice doing this long enough, then melancholic feelings will be nothing more than a fleeting feeling that you never indulge.
Anyway, this is what helps me.
I hope you can take something away from it.
Humans are meant to do stuff
I remember reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, and he would frequently remind himself that nature, i.e., the ants, the bees, etc., are busy putting the world in order, but humans struggle to even get out of bed.
As a rule of thumb, the more you do, the more alive you will feel. And the more idle you are, the more dead you will feel. Because to me, that’s what too much leisure feels like.
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