I became Catholic last month, and I’ve been practising the faith for just under a year, and it’s helping me massively to become more virtuous and more grounded.
But it’s not the ultimate solution. Yes, my faith helps me, but I still struggle with vice and sin like anyone else. I just have my faith to pull me up when I’m in a funk, whereas when I wasn’t a practising Christian, I had no belief system to pull me out of my funk.
I’ve found that practising my faith gives me optimism to believe that no matter what I’m going through, things will get better as long as I keep going to church, keep praying and keep trying to be a virtuous person.
But even when doing everything by the book and right, life can still go against you because ultimately some things are out of our control.
Some people use this fact to be pessimistic, but I try not to and instead try to bear in mind the following advice from Saint Augustine:
“God does not command the impossible, but by commanding he instructs you both to do what you can and to pray for what you cannot, and he gives you his aid to enable you.”
I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to let things out of your control affect you too much.
Just focus on what you can do. Because that’s all you have power over.
I know I’m giving this advice, but honestly I fail at it all the time.
I’ve been writing on Quora for the past couple of years, and it just seems like a grind to keep on doing it.
I’m not enjoying it much, and I think it’s for several reasons.
1. I have to always write an answer to a question that might get views but one that I don’t necessarily care about.
2. I’m a pawn to the algorithm, and I don’t know what metrics this algorithm works from; it could be actually hiding me from my audience.
3. If something happens to Quora, my audience will vanish.
So I’m going to start blogging more on my website/ newsletter, and hopefully it will result in better and more authentic content.
I used to give myself a word count of 300 words to hit every day, but now I’ll write however many words I feel like writing. I’m not just going to try and write filler for the sake of it like I used to.
So I’ll try and keep this habit up every day and see how it goes.
Because I do love writing, but I want to write on my terms, not on Quora’s terms or anyone else’s for that matter.
Because that’s what all the great writers do.
Write on their terms.
And I’ll probably piss a few people off in the process.
Which I’m not bothered about because the worst thing that can happen to a writer is to be ignored.
Don’t put the next potential spouse you meet on a pedestal. Because if you do, you will turn them into a god. You should only be worshipping one god, and that is not your partner.
Don’t have sex until marriage. Because if you have sex with one of the first potential partners you meet, you won’t know if you’re really in love with them or just lusting over them. I’ve made this mistake with my ex-partners and never loved any of them. I merely lusted over them, and they lusted over me.
Be friends first. Because if you’re going to spend your life with someone, you must be best friends with that person, otherwise it won’t work.
Never stop being yourself just to curry favour with a potential spouse. You can’t put up an act forever; they’ll eventually see through your facade and may not like the real you. So be yourself from the very start.
Choose someone with the same values as you. I get very inspired when I go to church because I see some very old couples still madly in love with each other. I think that is because they share the same faith and thus the same values; their faith acts like glue, sticking them together until death.
Try to see beyond looks and try to gauge the potential spouse’s character because eventually looks fade, but our hearts don’t; in fact, they can even shine brighter through the years.
Don’t rush to get with someone. You’re bound to make a mistake if you do. Instead, listen to your conscience, and it will tell you when you’ve found the right spouse.
There isn’t just one person for you. Many people will make good spouses, but you need to put yourself out there and find them. Go to church, get involved in groups, and have the courage to speak to new people.
Be the person the universe or god wanted you to be. I guarantee that if you become the best version of yourself, potential partners will be lining up to date you.
Be the person that your ideal spouse would want to date. What type of person do you need to become in order to attract your ideal spouse?
The most important thing to remember
Make sure you only date people who mirror your values because all else is insanity. Trust me, I’ve been there. Make finding a spouse easy for yourself and start off by making it a nonnegotiable to choose someone with the same values as you.
Get my best essays delivered every Monday and Thursday by clicking the following: henrypaget.substack.com
The following post is my Quora answer to the question “Is strength training 3 days a week enough?”
It contains my workout program.
Enjoy.
Here is the answer:
Is strength training 3 days a week enough?
Absolutely, I have found that I’m the most consistent when I work out only 3 times per week, because for me, anything more than this and it just becomes a chore.
You might think that my strength training sessions take long, but no, not at all. I get them done in 30-45 minutes. Here is the current workout program I’m using.
My three-day minimalistic workout routine
Day A (Monday)
Trap bar deadlift – one heavy set of 10 reps, then put the weight down by 10% and aim for 11 reps, then put the weight down another 10% and aim for 12 reps.
Dumbbell row -Follow the same sets as above, but merely drop down to the next dumbbell after each set.
Dumbbell curl – This exercise is performed the same as the sets above. But I only do two sets.
Day B (Wednesday)
Dumbbell bench press – one heavy set of 10 reps, then on the next set, aim for 11 reps with the next lightest dumbbell, then 12 reps with an even lighter dumbbell.
Dumbbell shoulder press- I use the same process as above.
Tricep pushdowns – I used to do 2 sets of these in the same manner I did dumbbell curls, but since I’ve had wrist surgery, they don’t feel good, so I’ve postponed doing isolation tricep exercises for now.
Day C (Friday)
Leg press – one heavy set of 10 reps, then reduce the weight by 10% and aim to get 11 reps, then reduce the weight by another 10% and get 12 reps.
Lat pulldown – Again, follow the same progression as above.
Seated calf raises – do one heavy set of 10 reps, then one lighter set of 11 reps (pause and squeeze at the top of each rep).
Notes on routine
Always do at least 3 warm-up sets per exercise before lifting heavy.
Take 3 minutes’ rest between sets to recover well and build maximum strength.
Eat a high-protein diet with lots of fruits and vegetables (eat mainly whole foods).
Get stronger every workout. Every week that you hit 10 reps on the first set, put the weight up next week, and then when you build to 10 reps with the new weight, increase the weight again. This way, you will always slowly but surely get stronger and build muscle.
Sleep 8 hours per night.
Go for a 30-45 minute walk on your days off from lifting.
Anyway, this is my workout routine, and I enjoy it. Try it, you might too.
This way of training is called reverse pyramid training, and it was popularised by Martin Berkhan from lean gains.
God bless.
I am not a medical professional. Please consult a doctor or physical therapist before starting a new routine, especially if you are recovering from surgery.
One last point I want to mention
Life’s too short to spend hours every day in the gym. If you follow a routine like the one above, you’ll get the biggest roi for your time investment.
Get my best essays delivered every Monday and Thursday by clicking the following: henrypaget.substack.com
Hello friend, I recently wrote an answer to a Quora question.
And the answer did well, so I thought I would share it here.
Here is the exact breakdown of my Quora answer to the question:
What are your top 10 travel tips?
1. Just book the trip
The best travel hack is to book the damn trip. So many people talk about going places, but never actually do. Don’t talk about booking the trip, just bloody book it. Because if you don’t book it now, when will you? I used to be someone who said I would travel to Rome, as I always wanted to go. It took me years to muster up the courage to actually book the trip. Because I had two wrist surgeries, which meant I couldn’t travel anywhere for over a year, this experience really forced me to book a trip to Rome when my wrist healed. And going to Rome was one of my favourite trips I’ve ever been on.
2. Write a list of what you need (the non-negotiables)
If you’re like me, then you have the memory of a goldfish. So I try to make a list of all the non-negotiable items I’ll need and try not to take unnecessary items because they just take up space.
3. Get travel insurance
If bad things can happen, they can happen when you’re away on holiday abroad, so don’t skimp on travel insurance because if you get into a pickle abroad and get sick/injured and need treatment, you can sometimes have to pay thousands for treatment. Getting travel insurance completely dissolves this risk. On my last holiday, my travel insurance cost me £50, which is pennies compared to the price I’d have to pay if I were critically unwell abroad.
4. Go to places you’re generally interested in (don’t feel like you should go to places just because other people go to them)
With Instagram and social media as a whole, we see people going to all sorts of bucket list destinations, but in reality, it doesn’t matter if they’re bucket list destinations or not; all that matters is that you genuinely want to go to those destinations.
5. Wear comfortable shoes
Last year, when I travelled to Rome, I bought and wore new shoes on holiday. Unfortunately, these shoes gave me awful blisters on my feet, which I needed to get seen by a podiatrist. Luckily, my feet are fine now, but make sure that you’ve tested your new shoes before you go on a trip where you will walk a lot (when I was in Rome, some days I walked over 30k steps).
6. Try to get an early flight there and a late one back to maximise time away
This one is self-explanatory; if you’re travelling somewhere you want to make the most of your time, so try and book the early flight on the way there and the late flight on the way back, especially if you’re only going for a few days.
7. Book the sights that you want to see
When I travelled to Rome, I booked to see the Colosseum beforehand, but I didn’t book to see the Vatican, so I had to pay over the odds for a tour around the Vatican while in Rome. Next time I go somewhere, I will book all the main trips beforehand.
8. Leave some room for adventure and spontaneity
Don’t forget that when you travel, it should be an adventure. Go on a trip down an interesting neighbourhood, live like the locals, and try to learn some of the language. Learning about other cultures helps us learn about ourselves because we can always take things away from how other people live.
9. Don’t live like you normally would
You’re away from home. If you wanted to live as you did at home, why didn’t you just stay there?
10. Get up early
Again, this is self-explanatory. What’s the point of travelling to foreign lands if you’re going to sleep in and waste most of your day?
Here is a picture I took while I was in Rome from the Castel Sant’Angelo.
One final point on how travelling boosts confidence
I found that after my first solo holiday, I grew in confidence massively. I think it was because I very much relied on other people to plan the logistics of holidays and trips, but on this occasion, I had to do it myself, and it was actually really easy. It made me realise I’m capable of a lot more than I think if I’m just willing to try.
Get my best essays delivered every Monday and Thursday by clicking the following :henrypaget.substack.com
Hello friend, I recently wrote an answer to a Quora question.
And the answer did well, so I thought I would share it here.
Here is the exact breakdown of my Quora answer to the question:
What is the best piece of advice you could give someone about life?
“Life is about execution rather than purpose.” – Nassim Taleb. (The picture is of Nassim).
I know I’m writing this post, and you’re reading it, but this isn’t how you truly learn. You learn by doing, by trial and error. But we live in a world where we read and watch videos far more than we do.
Doing shouldn’t supplement reading; reading should supplement doing.
So go out in the world, try different jobs, try different experiences and even write about them to learn more about how they made you feel and how they did or didn’t help you. I use writing as a tool for self-exploration.
If I didn’t try writing, I would have never found my passion
I love writing, and it’s something I will do for the rest of my life, no matter what occupation I’m in. I just love the flow state writing puts me in, and I love how I can help an unlimited number of people from a single post I write.
I was also curious about religion, so I spoke to a priest and started practising Catholicism, and now I’m fully Catholic. And it’s had an amazing impact on my life; it now feels full of meaning and has structure and order to it, but if I had never gone and spoken to the priest, I would have never experienced the benefits like I am now.
I’ve followed this advice with the jobs I’ve had
I’ve been a pot washer at KFC, a volunteer policeman, a pizza delivery man and even worked in financial services. Each experience has taught me about what I do and don’t like in the world of work.
We don’t gain wisdom by doing nothing; we gain it from making mistakes and learning from them. Sometimes I look back at myself from 10 years ago, and I think to myself, “wow, I was such an idiot”, and you might think it’s bad and negative that I talk to myself like that, but I don’t see it that way. I see it as a clear sign I’ve grown.
My worst fear
I don’t want to be the guy who never does or experiences anything new in life and is still stuck in the dead-end job that he was in in his early 20s. We can learn just as much from people we don’t want to be like as from the people we do want to be like.
Another quote from Nassim Taleb that I love
“It is not possible to have fun when you try.”
Get my best essays delivered every Monday and Thursday by clicking the following :henrypaget.substack.com
Hello friend, I recently wrote a post to a Quora question.
And the answer did well, so I thought I would share it here.
Here is the exact breakdown of my Quora answer to the question:
What are the best travel hacks?
1. Plan the main attractions you want to visit beforehand.
When I went to Rome, I made sure to book a guided tour to see the Colosseum. This was a great decision because it was much easier to organise through the travel agents than to book it when I was in Rome. I didn’t have to think about it when I was there. I just showed up and explored the Colosseum. Unfortunately, I made a mistake by not booking the Vatican trip. Which meant I had to pay over the odds to go there.
2. Make time for spontaneity.
When I travel, I like to make time for spontaneity. I like to explore the places I’m in just like a local would. It’s good to have planned destinations you will see, but remember to make time for the unexpected.
3. Go to places you’re interested in and not places where you think you’re supposed to go.
This might seem obvious, but the fact is that many of us visit places simply because other people do. When you go somewhere, do it because it’s somewhere you actually want to go.
4. Follow your curiosities when you’re there.
Several years ago, when I visited Bath, I went to the Roman Baths with my girlfriend at the time, and she walked past everything I wanted to see, which was frustrating because I couldn’t take it all in. But when I went to Rome alone, I took everything in, and it was much better.
5. Pack in advance.
Don’t leave your packing to the last minute.
6. Get up early.
Make the most of your day wherever you are.
7. You can take pictures, but not too many.
Don’t be so busy taking pictures that you forget to take it all in.
Here are some pictures of the Colosseum I took. I was in awe while taking these. It was awesome.
Remember: the most important travel hack is to just book the damn holiday. Many of us say we will do all sorts of things, but never do. As Nike says, JUST DO IT.
Get my best essays delivered every Monday and Thursday. Join 230+ readers for free and receive my ‘1% Reset Guide’ which shows you how to get 1% better every day:henrypaget.substack.com
Hello friend, I recently wrote a post to a Quora question.
And the answer did well, so I thought I would share it here.
Here is the exact breakdown of my Quora answer to the question:
What’s something you recently learned that shocked you?
THE MOMENT I REALISED I WAS MISSING AN ORGAN
Although not recently, I’m still quite shocked and surprised when I think about a specific moment in my life.
This is my story
In 2022, I started lifting heavy weights too soon after I had Covid, and I got a condition called Costochondritis that lasted several weeks (Costochondritis means having inflammation around the cartilage surrounding your ribs).
I complained to the doctor about the rib and chest pain I was getting, so he ordered me a chest and stomach ultrasound for further investigation to see what was happening.
So I had an appointment booked, and I went to it, but upon having the ultrasound, the radiographer finished, and she told me everything was fine, but there was one thing she had to tell me.
She said they could only see one kidney.
And I thought to myself, with my rudimentary understanding of physiology and anatomy, that this was not normal and that most people are born with two kidneys.
The aftermath
Upon finding out the news, I went pale as if I’d seen a ghost. I was completely shocked, but then the radiographer told me not to worry and that I was in very good health (upon seeing my blood and urine tests) because, apparently, you can live healthily and live a normal life span with one kidney.
I then spoke to my general practitioner, and he mentioned that the ultrasound detected that I was born with one kidney, as previously mentioned and told me that my kidney has adapted to do the work of two kidneys because my health markers and my blood tests came back as if I had two kidneys.
I was never the same after hearing this news
Although my health is fine, it really made me think that you never truly know what is going on in your body. I mean, I’m missing an organ.
So I’ve learned to treat my body very carefully because people are too quick to neglect their bodies without even truly understanding what is going on in them.
Being born with one kidney is called Renal agenesis, and about 1/1000 babies are born with it
Apparently, many people are walking around with only one kidney without even knowing it. And to be honest, if you live a healthy life, then you probably don’t even need to know, but I was just very shocked after hearing this news. More shocked than after any other time in my life, but at least I know.
Treat your body like a temple, and you can’t go wrong
I’ve learnt that none of us has perfect health and we never will, it’s completely out of our control as it’s not up to us what bodies we are born into. We can’t choose the best parts like we would when building a car.
But we have full control over how we treat our bodies. Treat your body well, and you will be doing everything in your power to stay in good health. Having good health is underrated. Investing in your health is the best investment you can make, more so than obtaining all the gold in the world.
I want to drive home the point that you never truly know what’s going on in your body, so treat it well.
Get my best essays delivered every Thursday. Join 230+ readers for free and receive my ‘1% Reset Guide’ which shows you how to get 1% better every day:henrypaget.substack.com
Hello friend, I wrote a post on Quora regarding 5 tips for solo travellers.
And the post did well it got 5100 views, 45 upvotes and 1 share.
Because it did well I thought I’d share it in this blog post.
Here is the exact breakdown I shared that resonated with thousands of people to the question:
“What is some good advice and tips for travelling alone?”
Last year, I went on my first ever solo trip when I travelled to Rome. The picture below is of me from my solo holiday.
Here are five pieces of advice that I learnt from travelling to Rome solo.
1. Don’t overthink it and book the trip
It doesn’t matter what tips I give you because you won’t learn anything just by reading this post. You’ll only learn by travelling, just like I did. We only truly learn by doing.
2. Plan the main trips before you go
Before I travelled to Rome, I booked a guided tour around the Colosseum, which was definitely a good move to make, but I also got myself in a pickle. Because when I was in Rome, I realised that I wanted to go on a guided tour around the Vatican and the Sistine Chapel, so when I was there, I paid over the odds to get a special tour around the Vatican. If I were to do this again, I would pre-book the Vatican trip beforehand so I wouldn’t have to pay over the odds.
3. Bring the correct adapter to charge your phone
When I got to Rome, I quickly realised I had brought the wrong adapter to charge my phone. So the morning after I arrived in Rome, my phone was almost out of juice, so I had to go and walk the streets of Rome to try and find a technology store that sold British plug adapters for my phone charger. Doing this was very stressful because I couldn’t speak hardly any Italian, but eventually, I luckily found a shop that sold adapters, and I was able to charge my phone.
4. Plan out all the places you want to go
I knew when I travelled to Rome that the main sites I wanted to see were the Pantheon, the Vatican, the Colosseum, and the Marcus Aurelius statue in the Palatine Hill museum. And I managed to see everything, I left no stone unturned, but now that I’ve become Catholic, I’ve realised that there are many basilicas/churches that I want to go and see next time I’m there.
5. Make time for spontaneity and for exploring
It’s wonderful to see all of the sights when you travel, but it’s also very important to make an adventure out of wherever you go. Walk down some funky neighbourhood, get talking to locals, go into some restaurants that the locals dine in, or drink the coffee that the locals drink.
Bonus tip
Realise that you will have some bad holidays, but don’t let that stop you from going away. You need to buy a ticket to win the raffle, and when you travel, it’s a bit like buying a lottery ticket because you’ll never truly know if you like a place until you’re there.
I read a quote saying “A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”
Even if you have a terrible time when you’re away travelling, at least you’ll have a story to tell (or write about), and you will almost certainly learn something from the experience.
Remember, life is an adventure, and never lose that sense of adventure. You don’t need to travel to the other side of the world; you can explore your own country and keep the spirit of adventure alive within you.
Get my best essays delivered every Thursday. Join 230+ readers for free and receive my ‘1% Reset Guide’ which shows you how to get 1% better every day:henrypaget.substack.com
henrypaget.com 